The End is only the Beginning
by BellatrixLives
Summary: What would have happened if Harry chose to chase Hallows, not Horcruxes? The 'boy who lived' is dead, and Hermione is left to face her own mortality rate. The only thing standing between her and death is Professor Snape.
1. The Dark Lord Victorious

SS

Severus Snape lies soaking in his steaming bathtub contemplating the events of the day. He is tired, _oh gods_ is he tired. Two hours ago he witnessed the murder of the wizarding world's only hope; Potter had failed. But even worse than that, Severus had failed. He always disappointed everyone; His father, his mother, Dumbledore, but worst of all Severus disappointed Lily. He sat by and watched as her sacrifice was thrown away with one flick of the Dark Lord's wand.

_Lily, forgive me…_ He begs silently, head resting on the back of the tub.

Severus glances at his wand laying on a stand next to him, his fingers itch for it. Just one little swish and a whispered thought is all it would take. Then he could just sit back and let the warm bath water draw his life from him, it probably wouldn't even hurt. What is a scrape on the wrist compared to the torture he'd endured most of his life? It would probably even feel good knowing relief was coming.

"Help me! Please somebody help!" Screams a female voice from the next room followed by a loud clanging.

Sighing deeply, and sounding as weary as a man twice his age Severus stands up from his bath. He takes his time drying himself rather than casting a simple drying charm. The tedium soothes him, well, at least it used to. He doubts he will ever feel soothed again.

More screaming and clanking sound from outside the bathroom.

Ever so slowly he dons his voluminous robes, long fingers gliding gracefully over the many buttons. Heaving another deep sigh Severus billows out of the bathroom as haughtily as he can manage.

As soon as he enters the adjoining bedchamber the screaming and clanking stops; there chained to his old bed lay the insufferable know it all, Hermione Granger, glaring at him fiercely.

"Let… me… go," she grounds out through clenched teeth, voice hoarse from yelling.

"And where, my little Muggle-born, would you expect to go?" He asks her, sneering. "To find your pal Weasley?"

Hermione's face drains of color and Severus gives a light, heartless chuckle.

"I'll be back momentarily, do stop trying to break your arms with all of your flailing about."

Severus quickly exits his old dungeon room and makes his way towards Dumbledore's, _no his, _office.

"Canary Creams," Severus whispers to the gargoyle guarding the stairs.

As he climbs the spiral staircase Severus carefully removes himself from the situation; hiding his emotions and smoothing his face he acts as if he is an outsider.

'_Stop that crying boy, it shows that you are weak. No matter what anyone does to you don't you ever let them know that their actions have affected you.' _Tobias Snape's words ring in his ears.

Upon entering his office Severus flicks his wand at the portraits of the previous headmasters and headmistresses. Immediately black, soundproof drapes cover all but one.

"Albus, Potter is dead." He says smoothly, voice dark. "I have… failed." Despite all of his effort Severus's voice catches on the last word; he bows his head in defeat.

"How did this happen?" Albus asks quietly.

"The Dark Lord finally found out Grindelwald stole the Elder Wand from Gregorovitch, and from Grindelwald he discovered you were the last master of the wand. He learned this about the same time Potter figured it out; they both made a dash for the wand but the Dark Lord beat him to it by mere minutes." Severus pauses, not wanting to continue as if not saying it would make it less real.

"Severus?" Albus asks gently.

"Potter appeared at your tomb with Weasley and Granger and it was over before he could blink. The Dark Lord struck him down and then restrained the other two. Weasley was offered a chance to renounce his blood traitor relatives and join the Dark Lord…" Severus whispers hoarsely.

"And when he refused Voldemort killed him," Albus finishes.

"No, Albus. He didn't refuse." Severus lets his words hang in the air, allowing Albus to absorb them.

"I see…" whispers the former headmaster, "and what of Miss Granger? I doubt she was given that option."

"The Dark Lord intended to kill her on the spot; I almost blew my cover Albus. I cried out for him to stop just as he raised his wand. He looked furious at my interruption, and demanded I explain myself. I told him that… that I found the girl… appealing. I reminded the Dark Lord of all of my devoted services to him; and he said that he supposed he could allow me to keep her because… because the last Muggle-born I requisitioned was broken before I could enjoy her." Severus spits; he collapses to the floor in a heap of black material.

"Severus," Albus calls down from his place on the wall. "You did the right thing. Now you must pull yourself together. Where is she now?"

"She is in my old room in the dungeon." Severus says dejectedly.

"Severus Snape," Albus pronounces commandingly, "you are not this person I see before me. Get up, clear yourself of emotion and _play your part._ You need to go speak with Miss Granger; find out Harry's actions during his last days. Do not reveal your loyalties to her, you do not know if Voldemort will change his mind and decide that he really should destroy her as a message to other friends of Harry's."

Severus pulls himself up from the floor, takes a couple of deep breaths and puts on a mask of indifference.

"Good, now go," Albus orders.

Flicking his wand on the way out, all of the drapes disappear and the portraits come alive with insults aimed at the current Headmaster of Hogwarts. He ignores them and descends the stairs momentarily wondering if he'll end up as mad as Kreacher; taking orders from a portrait.

HG

Hermione strains against the cuffs that chain her to the bed, her wrists are raw from the effort, her voice hoarse. Her arms are stretched above her head and each secured to a bedpost, the angle is causing her shoulders to cramp. She wonders how far her wrists are from bleeding and briefly considers helping them along, maybe her slick blood will help her slip her hands free. She immediately dismisses that idea; the amount of blood that would require could leave her dizzy and weak, and she has no wand to heal herself with.

Finally giving up, Hermione lets her arms rest on the bed and surrenders to tears.

_Oh Harry! _She thinks, _I'm so sorry… I should have tried harder to convince you, Horcruxes not Hallows. Now look where we are. You gone, Ron a traitor, and me… held captive by Professor Snape._

Hermione shudders trying to imagine what her future will hold. Her mind runs wild with possibilities… torture, poisons, but even worse there is the possibility of rape. Professor Snape had told Voldemort that he found her 'appealing.'

Her frightening thoughts are interrupted by the soft sound of footsteps and the turn of a key in her door's lock.

It's him.

He strides towards her purposefully, wand at the ready.

_Perhaps it will be a quick death after all, _Hermione thinks hopefully.

But with one swish she finds herself naked except for her undergarments. Panicking, Hermione tries to block out her surroundings by screwing her eyes shut and reciting a well read book in her head.

_Hogwarts, a History by Bathilda Bagshot…_

"Open your eyes girl; I need to ask you some questions!" Snape barks.

Hermione peeks one eye open and sees that Snape is sitting on a stool a few feet from the bed. She crosses her legs, but still feels overly exposed in front of this imposing man. She wishes she were wearing boxers rather than boy shorts, a sports bra rather than the red translucent one.

_Or better yet, long johns, maybe a parka…_

"Here are the rules: I'll ask a question, you answer. If you refuse I will punish you, either by the Cruciatus or other more… entertaining means." Snape assures her icily.

Hermione trembles, not wanting to think about what Snape finds entertaining.

"Do you understand?" He asks, eyes boring into hers.

She nods.

"Good. First question: where have you been hiding?" Snape asks.

Hermione tells him, in a dead voice, about living in the tent in the Forest of Dean, and then moving constantly to remote locations in other woods up until their capture by the Snatchers.

"If you were captured, how did you come to be here?" He asks, perplexed.

Their escape from Malfoy Manor is unknown and Hermione can tell Snape is pleased by her tale, no doubt thinking of a way to use the Malfoy's disgrace to his advantage.

"Then what?" Snape presses.

"As soon as we escaped Harry dragged us here to get the Elder Wand." Hermione whispers, tears rolling down her face.

Snape stands up and Hermione thinks he is leaving, having got enough information out of her for the time being.

She is wrong.

He strides over to the bed and climbs on, placing one knee on either side of her hips. Hermione panics and starts trying to buck him off. She looks up into his eyes and for a moment her resolve falters; the black depths transfix her.

Images started flashing through her mind.

_Harry crumpled on the ground, dead at Voldemort's feet… Dobby Dead, knife still in his chest… Bellatrix approaching, dagger in one hand and wand in the other… Ron's return and the story of how the locket was destroyed_…

The locket!

Hermione focuses her mind as hard as she can and pushes Snape out of it. He struggles to get back in but she's ready for him this time and forms a brick wall around her memories. She leaves one thought visible for him; _Get out!_

Snape retreats.

He is still perched on top of her and both are panting and sweating from the exertion used to battle wills. Hermione stares up at him, expression terrified. Snape reaches down and tears her bra straps, but leaves the cups covering her breasts.

He pounces, launching his face at hers.

Hermione is so caught off guard by the softness of his lips she doesn't immediately fight back. Her eyes drift closed and a gentle tingling crawls down her spine as a thought creeps into her head, _Severus Snape is a pretty good kisser. _

_Snape! _

As the realization dawns on her Hermione opens her eyes wide and bites down, hard, on Snape's lip.

SS

_That little wench bit me!_

Severus is astounded and a little amused as he makes his way back to his office. The Dark Lord will want updates on what is being done with the dirty veined witch so Severus takes advantage of the after effects of a battle of the minds and makes it look as if he were attacking her. Hoping it will be enough to hold the Dark Lord off for a while Severus makes use of the Pensieve upon entering the office. He cuts apart the memory and forms it together flawlessly. Severus bottles the memory and uses a brown barn owl perched by his window to send it off to the Dark Lord.

This is what the Dark Lord will see:

_Severus unlocking the door to Hermione's prison, then he strides across the room quick and purposefully removing her clothing with one charm. He immediately launches himself onto the bed and perches over top of her. Hermione flails about trying to throw him off and, in attempting this, works up a sweat and starts panting for air. Severus rips her bra and leans down to force his kiss upon her followed by her biting him. He sits back up, furious, holding his bleeding lip and tells her, "You'll pay for this." _

The memory fades at that point.

Severus feels confident in this memory; it will satisfy the Dark Lord and did not cause harm to the girl.

Not that he cares if it did harm her, but in the future it would be beneficial that Granger not completely loathe him.

With that taken care of Severus once again obstructs the view of all portraits but Albus Dumbledore.

"Albus, tell me about the locket." Severus commands.

XX

Severus paces back and forth through the debris that once made up his study, slinging obscenitiesunder his breath.

_How could Albus not tell me about the Horcruxes? He spent years trying to convince everyone I could be trusted and the old codger didn't even have the decency to lead by example! _

Dumbledore had finally told Severus everything he knew about Voldemort; he had also explained how Harry had spent the better part of the last year in search of the remaining Horcruxes.

Looking around at the destruction he had caused, Severus sighs and throws himself into his favorite armchair, a comfy wingback upholstered in rich green fabric right next to his crackling fireplace. Using his wand he conjures up a large snifter of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey and starts musing over the newly discovered information.

_Seven Horcruxes: 1) The diary; destroyed. 2) The ring; destroyed. 3) The locket; destroyed. 4) The boy; destroyed. 5) The cup; missing. 6) The snake; untouchable. 7) Something of Ravenclaw's; unknown._

Severus downs the rest of his Firewhiskey and quickly starts on another.

_Granger has known about the Horcruxes far longer than me, perhaps she'll have some insight to share._

He laughs darkly to himself.

_Of course the insufferable know-it-all would have some insight. Getting her to share it with me will be the real issue. Dumbledore told me not to reveal my loyalties to the girl, but he so obviously loves keeping people in the dark that he may be biased._

While working on his third brandy, Severus decides that he will not tell the chit everything about him, but just enough for her to believe that maybe he could be trusted after all. Finishing his drink Severus throws his glass into the flames and billows out of the room heading for the dungeons.

HG

Hermione longs for sleep to carry her away from her current situation, but unfortunately her body is too uncomfortable for that wish to be granted. Her arms, once numb, are now pricklingpainfully, her shoulder blades feel far too stretched and considering she is still in nothing but her underwear and torn bra she is absolutely freezing.

She lies there wondering how long it will take before the pain spreads from her immobilearms to the rest of her body; and, if it does spread will it intensify to the point that the Cruciatus curse would be preferable in comparison?

_You shouldn't have bit him; he'll leave you here to freeze to death for sure. _She tells herself.

_Well he shouldn't have kissed me! _She responds desperately.

_When he comes back you should apologize; you should play nice. Maybe if he thinks that you can be trusted not to fight back he'll relax around you and you might find a chance to escape. _

Hermione's eyes swell once more with tears.

_Even if I do escape, Professor Snape was right... where would I go? Ron cannot be trusted; I don't know how to contact the other Order members... if there even is an Order anymore. With Harry gone, hope is gone. The Horcruxes will never be destroyed and Voldemort will reign over the wizarding world forever._

Hermione gasps.

_No! That cannot happen! When I escape, _because she is determined to escape, _when I escape I will find a way to destroy the remaining Horcruxes! _She vows silently.

Hermione promises herself that she will behave and be nice to Snape in hopes of giving him a false sense of security.

Just as she resigns herself to being good she hears her prison door unlock once more.

Stumbling inside in a manner not quite befitting of his usual grace Professor Snape crosses the room with a sideways gait and perches on the very edge of her bed.

"Are you cold?" He asks, a slight slur to his drawl.

"Yes Professor, I am." Hermione hesitates briefly before hurrying on in a desperate whisper, not trusting her voice to speak any louder. "I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier, you caught me off guard and I overreacted. Do forgive me?"

Snape arches a quizzical eyebrow at her. He sits there silently, stiff except for a slight sway of his shoulders he can't seem to control, and looks her up and down. Then, sighing heavily he removes his outer robe and covers her with it.

"Given your troublesome day I suppose I could understand your rash action." He tells her, giving her as close to forgiveness as possible for Severus Snape.

"Thank you," Hermione says, referrin**g** both to the warmth from the cloak and to his understanding.

Snape hunches over and buries his face in his hands looking thoroughly defeated. Hermione eyes him curiously.

_He looks so... vulnerable. _

His shoulders seem about to collapse under whatever weight he is currently burdened with. His hair, more shiny than greasy she notes, hangs in thick black curtains hiding his face from view.

_Why should Voldemort's right hand man, the killer of Albus Dumbledore, look so dejected when just hours ago Voldemort finally triumphed over 'The Boy Who Lived'?_

It doesn't make sense.

"Are you... alright Sir?" She asks, and to her own surprise she finds she is actually curious.

Snape lifts his head and studies her face with glassy eyes.

"You are so good, so pure, you are almost too selfless to be on any side but your own. The bad guys and even the good guys can't compare to someone so... naive," he finishes with a sneer. "Do you honestly think that by pretending to show me compassion your odds will improve?"

"I wasn't trying to play you! I was just curious as to why you are depressed when you have finally won?" She huffs indignantly.

"I have won nothing... I never win." Snape says quietly.

Then without another word he passes out cold, falling onto the bed and across Hermione. His head rests on her breasts and she can smell the alcohol on him.

"Professor? Sir?" She says, attempting to rouse him to no avail.

_It's going to be a long night._

Hermione's breath quickens… She starts panicking… There is just so much of him, his weight pushing into her makes her feel trapped.

Attempting to calm herself down she tries to make a list of things that are not entirely horrible about this situation.

_I'm no longer freezing._

Snape's body heat, in addition to the cloak he draped over her, is quickly warming Hermione up.

_If he's sleeping he's not hurting me._

_I'm likely to manage sleep; the smell of alcohol on his breath should be enough to cause me to pass out as well._

A piece of Snape's dark hair shifts and tickles Hermione's cheek. She tries, carefully, to wiggle up higher on the bed, her body grinding against his in the attempt.

"Mmm, Lily." Snape laughs sleepily.

_Lily?_


	2. The Fall of the Boy Who Lived

_She is running as fast as she can after Harry and Ron. They skirt the edge of the lake silently, pushing towards the white tomb. Panting, they finally reach it only to see it's already been blown open; chunks of white marble litter the ground. A shrouded corpse lies on the platform before them giving her chills. _

"_Harry, we have to go! Something isn't right," Hermione whispers fiercely._

"_I reckon she's right-" Ron starts._

_High-pitched laughter sounds loudly, interrupting him. _

_The icy timbre surrounds them, driving fear into the very marrow of her bones._

"_It's a trap," she whispers._

"_Run!" Harry screams._

_Before they get the chance to launch even one step of retreat the shrouded body rises from its crypt, freezing them in place. The white veil ignites into black flames and goes out almost as quick in a puff of smoke. Standing before them, red eyes flashing, Voldemort extends his wand. Harry spins on the spot and shouts at Ron and Hermione, "GO NOW!" _

_Hermione, rooted to the spot, glances from Voldemort, whose slit-like mouth is spreading wide across his face, to Harry. She sees the green light explode behind Harry and screams. Harry's face jolts in surprise as his gaze locks with Hermione's. She watches the light go out in his brilliant green eyes and falls to her knees screaming._

"_HARRY!" _

_Ron is at her side throwing an arm around her shoulder, urging her to her feet. She can't do it; she is paralyzed under the weight of her despair. Hermione is still screaming as the air fills with black smoke and cloaks. _

SS

The strong aroma of lavender and chamomile fills Severus' nose about two seconds before the girl's screams fill his ears. He jerks awake and winces, his head pounding from the previous night's indulgence in Firewhiskey. Granger is thrashing about and Severus realizes with a start that he is lying on top of her, his face burrowed into the hollow of her neck.

Severus pushes himself up and tries to wake the witch from her nightmare.

"Miss Granger!" he scowls. "Stop blathering and wake up!"

He reaches down grabs one of her arms and gives it a shake.

"Miss Granger!"

Her chocolate eyes pop open wide, her chest heaving. The shock on her face is almost comical.

Her eyebrows are arched high and she wears the expression of a deer caught in Muggle headlights.

_If deer had mass amounts of horrid, unmanageable hair…_

"It was a nightmare, Miss Granger. You are fine now." He tries to assure her, his words thickly coated with sarcasm.

Her cheeks are red and tear stained as she turns her head away and mumbles something he can't hear.

"Speak up," he commands.

"I said, waking holds no reprieve when you are living your nightmares," she enunciates raggedly.

"Ever the poet," he sneers, getting up and crossing the room to a large store cupboard.

From inside he pulls out a large phial of Hangover Brew and downs it in one gulp.

"Professor?" Granger asks timidly.

"What?"

"I… I have to use the loo," she rushes.

He flips his head around to look at her and can immediately tell from the embarrassed flush in her cheeks that she isn't lying. He snarls and throws the empty phial on top of the cupboard. Crossing the room in three quick strides he whips his wand out and vanishes her shackles.

She lets her arms fall to the bed and sighs gratefully. Slowly, she pulls them to her chest and attempts to rub feeling back into them.

"Thank you, Sir."

Severus just grunts acknowledgment and stands awkwardly next to the bed. She sits up slowly and throws her legs over the side of the metal frame. The cloak covering her falls and her cheeks flush even deeper as she rushes to gather the material around her again.

Seeing her small, barely covered breasts before him Severus rolls his neck and listens to it crack. He hadn't much in the way of pillows the night before.

"Um, where is-" she begins but he cuts her off.

"Door on the left."

When she stands up her legs immediately go out from under her and she falls forward right into his chest.

"S-sorry… my legs are numb," she sputters.

In one fluid movement, Severus sweeps her up into his arms and carries her across the room to the bathroom door.

"This is far as I go, Miss Granger."

He sets her gingerly on her own two feet and she uses the doorframe to brace herself. Her 'thank you' is almost inaudible. It's not until after the door is closed behind her that Severus wonders if he should have made her leave it open. He dismisses that thought; Granger isn't one with the strength to harm herself.

Severus paces back and forth outside the door impatiently; he is so focused on wondering what is taking her so long that he is completely unprepared when his Dark Mark begins to burn.

"Shit!"

He hesitates just a moment before making a decision.

"Miss Granger," he calls, "I have business I have to attend to. I am going to allow you to remain unbound today, but if you try anything foolish you will be chained back to that bed permanently. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir. I understand."

The pain in his arm intensifies. Severus flicks his wand a few times sealing the doors and locking his potion cupboard. He pulls back his sleeve and is preparing to touch his wand to his Dark Mark when another thought occurs to him. Two more flicks and he is gone.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but the next one will be up within the hour. Also I will be editing chapter 1 within the week to fix some of the grammer and punctuation errors._

_Enjoy!_


	3. Lists

HG

Hermione takes her time in the bathroom, admiring the grand surroundings. It is, without a doubt, a Slyhterin bathroom. The tiled floor is a deep forest green and the gray walls are almost completely hidden by green and silver banners. She ventures over to the immense marble tub and sighs longingly.

_I might as well indulge, who knows if I'll ever get the chance again._

She puts a stopper in, cranks the hot water on high and locates a cabinet filled with towels and places one next to the tub. Then deciding it wouldn't be wise to wear Professor Snape's cloak she ventures out into the bedchamber meaning to grab a sheet to wrap herself in.

The bedroom's contrast to the impressive bathroom is staggering. It's a bachelor's room for sure… a poor bachelor. The single bed is tucked away in the farthest corner of the room, the mattress, she recalls, ragged and thin. Close to the bathroom door there are two cabinets pushed against the wall. Hermione recognizes one as the cupboard Snape removed a potion from, and decides to push snooping around off until later.

The farthest wall is covered with bookshelves filled to the breaking point. Immediately her resolve on 'no snooping' is tested.

_What kinds of books does a Death Eater curl up with at the end of a long day?_ She wonders.

Pushing the thought away she continues scoping the room.

The center of the room hosts an unstable looking wooden dining table, featuring just one chair and the only other furniture in the room is a large green wingback sitting in front of the fireplace to the right of the bathroom door.

First thing first, Hermione rushes over to the door leading to the hall, which is, of course, locked. She attempts to open the door to the right of the fireplace and finds that one locked as well. Huffing loudly she approaches the bed to gather her sheet but notices something on top. Sitting before her are a pair of men's black boxers and a white button down dress shirt, both shrunk to her size. Smiling in spite of herself, Hermione gathers the clothing and locks herself in the bathroom.

The bathwater envelops her, instantly easing her aching muscles, the marble surprisingly soft against her back.

_It must be charmed to form to your body…_

She closes her eyes sleepily and slowly drifts off, her fretful night catching up with her once again.

_Ron's arm is wrapped around her shoulder, attempting to pull her away even as the Death Eaters continue to arrive. _

"_Hermione, get up!"_

"_Silence, Blood Traitor!" Voldemort commands._

_The Death Eaters form a circle, encasing Voldemort, Ron, Hermione, and Harry's dead body._

"_Ssstep away from the Mudblood," Voldemort hisses. "Do you want to live, my boy? The Dark Lord always needs courageous purebloods such as yourself. Join me; killing you would be so… wasteful. Renounce your Muggle loving relatives and feast upon power beyond your wildest imaginings. Join me."_

_Ron looks down at Hermione, who is still sobbing, clutching her chest. He opens his mouth to speak but closes it again immediately. He removes his arm from around her and takes a hesitant step away from her, towards Voldemort. Taking a deep breath Ron sinks down onto his knees._

"_I am at your mercy… My Lord." He whispers._

_Voldemort cackles loudly. _

"_Rise my ssson," he spits. "Look me in the eyes."_

_Ron stands back up and looks deeply into those garish, red eyes. Barely a minute passes before Voldemort releases his stare._

"_Take your place in the circle, I am pleased."_

_Ron shakily walks over to a spot that has been made for him in the ring of Death Eaters, leaving Hermione alone with Voldemort and a corpse. _

"_This Muggle filth," Voldemort pronounces loudly, "is a symbol of everything we are against. Not only has she stolen power from a rightful wizard, but also she excels at it beyond all of your pureblood children. She mocks them, she mocks you; she must be destroyed."_

_Voldemort raises his wand high and brings it down in a shining ark._

"_Avad-"_

"_My Lord, wait!"_

_Voldemort's hand freezes and his eyes ignite._

"_Who dares interrupt this cleansing?" He demands._

"_I do, my Lord." Professor Snape steps forward, removing his mask._

"_What is the meaning of this, Severusss?" Voldemort hisses. _

"_I have been a faithful servant and spy all these years. I ask you, please, spare her life." Snape pleads._

"_Why would you ask for this as your repayment when you could have so much more?" _

"_I find the girl… appealing, my Lord." Snape reveals. _

"_Surely you realize that you, my most faithful servant, could have your pick of any respectable witch?" Voldemort asks._

"_Yes, my Lord, but I enjoy a solitary lifestyle. All I seek is a bed warmer ready at my command." Snape sneers, glaring at Hermione. "I would never wish to demean or demoralize a pureblood that way. After all, what else are Muggle-borns good for?"_

_Voldemort considers this, eyeing the heap of sobbing girl before him._

"_Very well, Severusss." He concedes. "You may have her since the last Muggle-born you asked for was broken before you could… enjoy her. But do not make me regret this."_

_Snape bows his head at his Master and descends on Hermione, dragging her to her feet and pulling her behind him to the castle._

_She screams the whole way._

XX

Hermione wakes up sputtering; while flailing around during her nightmare her head slipped below the bathwater.

She coughs up another mouthful of water and warily pulls herself up and out of the tub. Anxious to look around before Professor Snape returns, Hermione quickly towels off and dresses. The clothes are a perfect fit and she feels much less vulnerable now that she is covered.

Entering the bedchamber again, she decides to try the two cabinets. The potion cupboard is, of course, locked. The second one however jerks open when she tugs on the door handles. Inside she finds a large stack of parchment and folders. In the corner next to that is a pile of quills and jars of ink.

Hermione examines the folders and realizes that they carry the Scriber Charm. Once a document is placed inside, the folder will only open for the author of said document. Smiling, she takes a folder, quill, ink, and several sheets of parchment.

Sitting at the rickety dining table Hermione begins making a list of possible ways to kill Voldemort's snake.

_Ways to Kill Nagini:_

_1) Knock out Professor Snape and take Polyjuice Potion to look like him; appear before Voldemort as Snape and kill snake_

_2) Hide a poisoned dead animal on Professor Snape and hope the snake will sniff it out and eat it_

_3) Beg to be taken before Voldemort and throw a knife at the snake's head_

Hermione sighs and buries her face in her hands.

"These are about as likely as Mundungus Fletcher becoming Minister of Magic," she whispers.

Hermione's stomach gives a ferocious growl and she quickly doubles over.

"I'm so hungry," she breathes.

_CRACK!_

Popping her head up Hermione finds herself face to face with a bowing house-elf.

"Oh!" Hermione exclaims.

"Hello Missy," the house-elf squeaks, raising its head. "Mazy at your service."

"Um, hi, Mazy." Hermione says taking in the pillow case toga bearing the Hogwarts' crest.

"What can I get Missy today?" Mazy asks, brown eyes wide.

"Mazy, can you get me out of this room?" Hermione asks, hopeful.

Mazy's ears droop and she begins to twist the bottom of her toga.

"I'm sorry, Missy, but I have orders from the headmaster. I is able to get you food and such but I is not allowed to be taking you from this room." Mazy says apologetically.

"Headmaster?" Hermione wonders aloud. "Oh, I forgot Professor Snape is the new Headmaster of Hogwarts. It's okay, Mazy. I would like some food then, if it isn't too much trouble."

"Oh no, Missy. I is being told to look after you and it is no trouble at all. What can I be getting for you?" The elf squeaks, happy to be of service.

Hermione places an order for a hearty helping of turkey, mashed potatoes, parsnips and pudding; then as an afterthought asks for a tea service and scones. Mazy nods her enthusiasm and cracks out of the room after promising to return shortly.

Hermione takes this time to search through the bookshelves finding two that stand out to her:

_Fantastical Forbearers: Founders of Hogwarts _

_Willful Wish-Work for the Wandless_

She pulls _Willful Wish-Work for the Wandless _off the shelf and quickly pages through it. The book has in depth step-by-step instructions on how to manage simple spells without a wand. Seeing just how much work is involved, Hermione places the book back on the shelf in exactly the same position.

_I'll look into it further when I know I won't be interrupted. I don't want Professor Snape to remember it is here and confiscate it._

Just as she takes _Fantastical Forbearers: Founders of Hogwarts_ off the shelf, Mazy cracks back into the room with Hermione's food.

Famished, Hermione rushes to the table, her stomach aching from the delicious smells wafting towards her. She's already taken two bites of potatoes before she manages to sit down.

"Thank you, Mazy. It's so good!" Hermione exclaims, now digging into the turkey.

"Missy is too kind, it is no trouble." The elf blushes. "When you is finished just call my name and I will collect your dishes. And, if Missy ever needs anything just calls 'Mazy' and I will come. The headmaster is telling me to take good care of you and I is trying to be a good elf and do my best."

Then, before Hermione can say another word, Mazy disappears.

Pausing only to take deep swigs of tea, Hermione manages to finish her dinner and desert in less than ten minutes. Her belly bulging uncomfortably, she leans back in the chair and sighs.

_Is it wrong to have such a strong appetite just one day after losing one, no, two of my best friends? _

Then, remembering wild mushrooms boiled in a soup tin, she decides that Harry wouldn't want her to continue starving.

_I'll need my strength, after-all._

Hermione pushes her plate away and pours herself another cup of tea. Sighing softly, she opens _Fantastical Forbearers _and finds the section on Rowena Ravenclaw. In no time Hermione finds the information she is looking for and begins writing a second list.

_Possible horcruxes:_

_1) Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem – Most likely option; said to have strong magical properties and render the wearer much more intelligent than they normally are. Whereabouts unknown._

_2) Ancient Wizarding Encyclopedia – Rowena had an ancient encyclopedia dating back to the discovery of 'Lumos'. She kept this in an ornately carved treasure chest as a tribute to her House's motto 'Wit beyond measure, is man's greatest treasure'. Whereabouts unknown._

_3) Fawkes – Rowena had a phoenix; is it possible that Fawkes can be that same phoenix, and that he has been pledging himself to people who are important to Hogwarts? _

Hermione tries to wrap her mind around the new possibilities but finds herself much too full and sluggish to do more than raise more questions.

She takes her first two lists and places them inside the charmed folder, then, after returning _Fantastical Forbearers _to its shelf, she starts one more list.

_Severus Snape: Friend or Foe_

_Signs he is evil:_

_Delivered contents of Prophecy to Voldemort, causing the Potter's death_

_Voldemort has the utmost belief in him_

_Killed Dumbledore_

_Cursed George's ear off_

_Openly hated half of the Order_

_Let Harry die_

_Signs he may be good:_

_No excitement at Voldemort's victory_

_Forgave me for biting him, which is completely out of character_

_Telling the house-elf to 'take good care' of me_

_Saved my life_

Hermione gently sets the quill down and starts massaging her temples. Looking at the short list for 'good' she starts to doubt her sanity.

_How could I think he could be good? I mean, come on! This is Snape we're talking about. He saved my life for selfish reasons. And yet…_

She can't seem to vanish the look of despair he wore the previous night, or his dejected declaration, _"I never win."_

Hermione places the third list inside her folder and then cleans up all evidence of her musings. She places the inkpot and quill back in the cupboard and then slips the folder inside the cover of a book on the top shelf.

Having no way to judge the time aside from her lengthening yawns, Hermione decides to go to bed.

Lying on her side, she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps both an itchy blanket and her arms around them.

_Good or Evil?_


	4. Foolish Girl

SS

Just two days ago, if Severus Snape were asked to choose between the likelihood of a Weasley becoming a Death Eater, and the likelihood of Severus adopting Lupin as a lovable pet, he probably would have rushed to a pet store to pick a collar for his new werewolf.

_At least this way there is no shedding on the furniture…_

Severus, having just Apparated outside the gates of Hogwarts, sets off at a brisk pace towards the castle.

He runs through the events of the night in his head…

_Severus appears, apprehensively, at the Dark Lord's side, expecting an order to execute the girl. He is therefore surprised to learn that instead, he has been called for an enlistment ceremony. _

_The Weasley brat, Ronald, is standing in the middle of a circle of Death Eaters next to the immobile form of Argus Filch. _

_Severus takes his place in the circle, to the right of the Dark Lord. _

"_Loyal followers," Voldemort begins, "we are here this evening to welcome a new brother into our midst… and what a unique addition he shall be."_

_The Dark Lord pauses, letting his words ring dramatically._

"_Ronald Weasley, former friend of Harry Potter, relative of Muggle-lovers, has chosen to see sense. He stands here before you ready to renounce his past, and accept his pureblood status. Does anyone have any reason why we should not accept him?" The Dark Lord asks._

_A cloaked figure steps forward from the circle._

"_My Lord, how can you be sure he can truly be trusted?" Bellatrix Lestrange asks._

"_My dear Bella, I have seen his mind. I know he seeks power, and that he recognizes that only I can give him that."_

"_Yes, my Lord, but perhaps he has tricked you." She rushes, cringing._

_Voldemort's eyes flash dangerously, challenging her._

"_You dare assume I, master Legilimens that I am, could be fooled by this boy?" He questions, but continues on without waiting for a response. "Severuss! Step forward."_

_Severus takes a step immediately, keeping his back straight and hands resting behind his back._

"_Severuss here is a master Legilimens, second only to me. He fooled that softhearted fool, Dumbledore, for years. Severuss, read the boy. Is this what you wanted, Bella?" Voldemort asks mockingly._

"_My Lord, I-" Bellatrix pleads._

"_Ssilence!" Voldemort hisses. "Read him!"_

_Severus slowly approaches Ron, and withdraws his wand. Standing eye to eye, Severus takes aim._

"_Legilimens!"_

_Severus is flying through images…_

_Ron at Christmas receiving nothing but hand-me-downs… Ron always fighting for attention over his brothers and failing… Ron watching Harry bitterly as Harry is begged to sign autographs… Ron watching his dad being passed over for a promotion because of Arthur's Muggle fascination… Hermione at the Yule Ball with Victor Krum… Hermione throwing herself into Harry's arms after every return from holiday, while giving Ron an awkward handshake… A devastatingly beautiful Hermione half naked, wrapped around Harry… and one lone thought left drifting around: 'for the greater good'…_

_Severus withdraws from Ron's mind and is momentarily caught up with the image of Hermione and Harry intertwined._

"_Well, Severuss?" Voldemort asks._

"_He holds no lasting feelings towards his past life, my Lord. His motives for joining are selfish, yes, but selfish motives are often the most reliable." Severus answers._

"_Are you pleased Bella?" Voldemort questions sarcastically._

_Bellatrix bows her head, and retreats to her place in the circle, just as Severus returns to his._

"_Very well," Voldemort breathes, "let us continue."_

Severus had been shocked to discover how quickly Weasley could change sides, but the anger, and hatred that tinted his thoughts left no doubt of his new loyalty.

Finally at the castle, Severus gives a wave of his hand, and the front doors fly open wide. Dinner is just ending, and the sudden banging of the doors sends two third year girls squealing across the entrance hall.

They start giggling over their reaction until they see who the new arrival is.

Severus is used to inciting silence by now.

No one wants to upset the murderer of Dumbledore, just in case Severus gets the sudden urge to hex someone.

_Imbeciles! _

Shooting them a fierce glare, Severus descends towards the dungeons.

Upon entering his old room he is assaulted by the smell of lavender and chamomile.

_Good god, how does she do that?_

Severus surveys the room, and sees everything is just as he left it. Well, aside from the large gathering of dirty dishes on his dining room table.

Granger is asleep, curled up in his old bed. He can just barely make out the tip of her nose sticking up from under a mass of unmanageable hair.

_She must be exhausted after everything she's been through._

Severus examines the cupboard of writing supplies, deciding he finds a sleeping Granger much more agreeable than an awake Granger.

Finding a folder missing, Severus smiles to himself.

"_Accio folder eight!_" he whispers.

A book floats off of the top shelf of his bookcase, and then, levitating in mid air, the front cover opens to release the missing folder. The folder soars across the room towards him, and lands gently in his outstretched hand as the book places itself neatly back on the shelf.

_Foolish girl… as if I would conveniently leave you a way to harbor secrets from me._

Severus taps the folder with his wand; the cover flips open instantly allowing him access. Putting years of speed-reading to good use, Severus quickly peruses the lists in the folder.

The list of possible horcruxes is quite good, he concedes. But it takes every ounce of his self-control not to snort at the content of the next list.

_Honestly Granger, throwing knives? Brightest witch of your age indeed, _he sneers inwardly.

The final list surprises him. It hadn't taken her long to question his allegiances. A small smile plays around his lips as he reads her reasons for thinking him good.

So she thinks his sullenness and forgiveness are enough to rival his murder of Dumbledore.

_She's as foolish as the old man, and yet, just as insightful._

Severus reseals the folder, and places it back inside the book cover in which he found it. Deciding to turn in for the night, he makes a sweeping motion towards the door but stops suddenly.

He glances over his shoulder at the frizzy mass on his bed and, before he realizes what he's doing, Severus glides over to the small mattress and secures the sheet around Granger's sleeping form. Then, going a step even further, he conjures a warm, dark green comforter, securing that around her as well.

This time, as he leaves the room, he doesn't look back. 


	5. I saw you

HG

Hermione wakes feeling deliciously warm and secure. She snuggles further into her comforter, ready to let sleep reclaim her, when she realizes that she is wearing shorts.

_I never sleep in shorts… or without shoes._

Hermione shifts a little, wiggling her toes.

_This sheet isn't as soft as mine either, _she thinks sleepily.

Slowly, she starts to pull herself out of her dream state and is flooded with memories she'd rather not have.

Sighing heavily, as a knot settles in her stomach, Hermione peeks one eye open. She is lying on her side facing the wall. Pulling the covers further around her, Hermione notices the addition of a green comforter that wasn't in the room the night before.

_He must have brought it._

As soon as the thought enters her head, Hermione's skin prickles as if being watched.

Both eyes pop open wide and she sits straight up in bed, head jerking towards the rest of the room. Sure enough, sitting at the dining room table with a bored expression on his face, is Professor Snape.

He nods at her and takes a sip of tea.

"Good morning," he says.

"M-morning," she croaks nervously.

"Are you hungry?" He asks quietly.

Hermione opens her mouth to say no, but her stomach growls giving her away. She closes her mouth and gives him a small nod.

"Mazy," Snape calls.

CRACK!

"Yes, headmaster?" The elf asks, bowing.

"Please bring a fresh tea service for two, and bring Miss Granger something for breakfast." He tells the elf.

Mazy bows again and disapparates.

Professor Snape pulls out his wand and conjures a second dining chair.

"Join me?" He asks, conversationally.

Hermione eyes him suspiciously, distrusting this cordial version of her ex-professor more than an openly hostile one. Slowly she pulls the covers back and lowers her feet to the cold stone floor.

"I've left you a pair of slippers next to the bed, I know how uncomfortable these floors can be." Snape tells her, gesturing to a pair of soft looking slip-ons.

Hermione quickly puts the slippers on and sighs, enjoying the instant warmth they provide. She stands up and takes a step towards the bathroom.

"Thank you," she tells him. "I have t-to…"

"Of course."

Hermione quickly rushes to the bathroom and shuts the door. She leans against it and allows herself to sink to the floor.

_What is going on?_

She can feel the panic rising in her chest and tries to steady her breathing.

_First he ties me up and attacks me, then he releases me and sends an elf to make sure I'm taken care of, and now he's giving me gifts and joining me for breakfast._

She tries to find some logical reason behind his actions but comes up with nothing other than the idea that he is trying to lead her into a sense of false security.

_If he keeps this pattern up, next he'll be proposing marriage._

Hermione shudders at the thought of being bound to Severus Snape for life.

SS

Severus smiles wickedly to himself. He can practically hear her thoughts questioning her sanity, and his motives, through the bathroom door.

When the running water stops, Severus wipes his grin off, and begins stirring sugar into his newly arrived tea.

Hermione opens the door and slowly makes her way to the seat across from Severus.

"Mazy brought you bacon, eggs, and toast while you were in the facilities." He tells her gesturing to the heavily laden plate in front of her.

"Aren't you eating?" She inquires, picking up her fork.

"I'm not hungry, actually." He says, raising an eyebrow.

_Was that concern in her voice?_

"Oh, it's just… I feel uncomfortable eating in front of others who are not." Her cheeks flush.

Severus sighs and stretches a hand out to her plate, plucking a piece of toast off of the top. He bites into it, and begins to chew exaggeratedly.

Her cheeks flush further, but she gives him a shy smile as she starts on her eggs.

_Of course, prim little Gryffindor Princess, held captive by a Death Eater, and still worried about manners._

Severus pulls out a copy of the _Daily Prophet_, turns it strategically leaving a certain article in plain view for Miss Granger.

It takes her less than ten seconds to notice it.

"Ron has taken the Dark Mark!" She exclaims, clamoring across the table to rip the paper from his hands, sending eggs flying in the process.

"Miss Granger! Control yourself!" He commands, pulling the paper out of her grasp.

Hermione slinks back into her seat.

"Sorry, Sir. It just… surprised me, that's all." She whispers, knotting her hands as she stares into her lap.

"Indeed."

"Is it true, Sir? About Ron?"

Severus eyes her hopelessness and immediately questions his plan of being honest with her.

He sighs heavily.

"Yes, it's true. I was there." He tells her.

Hermione's head shoots up and she opens her mouth several times before actually speaking.

"But, Sir, I thought one had to kill in order to seal the mark. Are you saying that… that Ron k-killed someone?"

Her wide brown eyes transfix him.

"He did," Severus answers quietly.

"S-show me," she whispers, still holding his gaze.

Before he even realizes what he's done, Severus summons his Pensieve, and is pulling the memory from his mind.

He stands and offers his hand to Hermione; she hesitates only milliseconds before taking it and standing by his side.

They take the plunge together.

Having already lived through the ceremony, Severus focuses his concentration on watching Hermione.

She is still holding his hand, though Severus is certain she doesn't realize this. Her expressive eyes are trained on Ron, and she has tears threatening to spill over.

They are standing inside the circle of Death Eaters, about ten feet from Ron.

When the Dark Lord begins to speak, Hermione visibly cringes and takes an unconscious step towards Severus.

"_Ronald Weasley, former friend of Harry Potter, relative of Muggle-lovers, has chosen to see sense. He stands here before you ready to renounce his past, and accept his pureblood status. Does anyone have any reason why we should not accept him?" The Dark Lord asks._

_A cloaked figure steps forward from the circle._

"_My Lord, how can you be sure he can truly be trusted?" Bellatrix Lestrange asks._

Hermione presses herself firmly into Severus' side, trembling. He quickly recalls her telling him about Bellatrix torturing her at Malfoy Manor. Severus gives her hand a reassuring squeeze before he can stop himself. She looks up at him momentarily, but is quickly drawn back into the memory.

Looking for a distraction from the warmth crawling up from his belly, Severus focuses his attention on the memory as well.

"_Are you pleased Bella?" Voldemort questions sarcastically._

_Bellatrix bows her head, and retreats to her place in the circle, just as Memory-Severus returns to his._

"_Very well," Voldemort breathes, "let us continue."_

_Ron visibly straightens himself, and stands proud._

"_Do you, Ronald Bilius Weasley, swear to serve me, and only me as your Master?" Voldemort asks._

"_I do," Ron responds._

"_And do you also swear to uphold the virtues of our future untainted society?"_

"_I do."_

"_And do you swear to attempt to show your traitorous family the path to salvation… that is to say, the path to me?"_

"_I do."_

_Voldemort's eyes flash red in his excitement. _

"_Kneel before me," he commands._

_Ron approaches slowly, and kneels before Voldemort with his head bowed._

"_Your arm," Voldemort commands._

_Ron presents his arm, sleeve rolled up to his elbow. Voldemort grabs Ron's wrist with one hand and uses the other to firmly press his wand to the boy's forearm._

"_Morsmordre da Carne!" _

_Instantly a lead-like substance snakes from the end of Voldemort's wand, twisting and writhing to form the Dark Mark. Ron gasps loudly as the material sinks into his skin._

"_You must seal our agreement now, or a poison will be released and it will kill you," Voldemort reminds Ron._

_Ron nods his head and stands, he then carefully returns to the center of the circle, to the body of Argus Filch. Ron points his wand at Filch._

"_Enervate!"_

_Filch comes awake, gasping and clawing at the ground._

"_Why have you chosen this one?" Voldemort asks._

"_This filthy squib has been posing for years as a respectable wizard, trying to use cheap gimmicks in place of magic to fool those around him. He is unworthy." Ron tells the ring of Death Eaters._

"_You may finish him." Voldemort assures._

_Ron once again points his wand at Filch. Filch stares up at him, eyes full of hatred and anger._

"_I'll k-kill you!" he croaks._

"_I think not," Ron tells the man. "Avada Kedavra!"_

_Green light fills the circle and the old caretaker falls flat, struggling no more. A smattering of applause breaks out around the circle._

A strangled sob bursts forth from Hermione's throat pulling Severus back to the present, so to speak. She is staring fixedly at Ron, who is now bowing for the crowd, a single tear trailing down her cheek.

"Let's go," Severus whispers, giving her fingers a tug.

She just nods once in response, and he pulls them from the memory and back into his bedchamber.

When they land softly next to the dining table, Hermione gives herself over to her despair, and collapses in a heap on the floor.

Severus kneels down next her and gently places a hand on her shoulder.

"He…. actually… did…. it," she sobs.

"He had to, at that point," Severus tells her. "If he had taken the mark and refused to seal it with murder a slow acting poison would have trickled through his veins, leading him to a slow, and painful death."

Hermione's head shoots up, and she glares at him fiercely. Her skin is all blotchy and red from crying, but made beautiful by her intensity.

"Then he should have died," she enunciates.

For the first time Severus starts to question whether he has misjudged Hermione's strength. He remembers thinking that she didn't have the strength to harm herself, but quickly reevaluates his opinion.

_If she believed it was for the greater good, or that her sacrifice could save another, Granger could pose as a great danger to herself._

Hermione sighs heavily and drops her head once more.

Severus pulls her into his arms and stands up easily, barely registering her weight. She cringes slightly in his arms, but doesn't offer any protests.

Severus carries her over to the bed, and places her gently on the comforter.

"What did you see?" she asks.

"What did I see?"

"When you looked in Ron's eyes, what did you see?" she presses.

This time it is Severus' turn to sigh.

"I saw you."


	6. Practice Makes Perfect

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the delay, I've been working on polishing up the previous chapters and submitting to The Petulant Poetess. This chapter isn't up over there yet, but it also hasn't been through my beta. Sorry in advance about my horribly rocky relationship with commas, but it's been so long since I posted I wanted to get this up tonight. However I do encourage you to look me up on TPP and read this how it is meant to be read. One more thing, thank you to everyone who has left reviews, and even those who have just added bookmarks. It's nice to know I'm not just talking to empty air lol Oops one more one last thing... I really want to hear your thoughts and theories on this chapter! Enjoy!

HG

Hermione sits quietly, staring into Professor Snape's eyes as her mind attempts to sort out what she has just heard.

"What do you mean, you saw me?" she asks.

For once it is Snape who breaks eye contact first, perhaps unnerved by her vulnerable gaze.

_I bet few people risk looking into his eyes so unguardedly._

He sighs.

"I went in looking for Weasley's motives for switching sides. His thoughts were tinted by a thirst for power and recognition, filled with anger and fear, but strongest was his feeling of jealousy. His jealousy was like an acidic potion on the skin; it burned and was impossible to ignore." Snape tells her.

"His jealousy of Harry?"

"Indeed."

"But… he was past that I thought. He seemed to finally understand that Harry loathed the attention he was showered with just because of his scar. Ron _understood_ Harry's hatred of being famous." She trilled, trying to show a flaw in Snape's assessment. "And what does this have to do with me?"

"It has everything to do with you, you foolish girl. Weasley wasn't jealous of Potter for his fame, he was jealous of Potter owning your heart." Snape says exasperatedly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Weasley was in love with you."

Hermione's eyebrows practically disappear into her hairline as she looks at Snape in disbelief.

"Owning my- what? Harry and I were nothing more than friends!" She insists. Another thought hits her. "He _was_ in love with me?"

_Yes, Hermione, _was_, as in 'no longer' loves you._

"I believe he lost interest after finding you and Potter having sex."

If the statement itself weren't so shocking, Hermione might have managed to laugh at the uncomfortable tone Snape had slipped into at the mention of 'sex.'

"I didn't… I have not… we NEVER…" she splutters. "I never, and I mean _never_, had s-sex with Harry."

"Miss Granger, while your… virtue is of no concern of mine, I do not tolerate being lied to so vehemently. I saw Weasley's memory of you and the Chosen One having… being intimate."

Hermione falls silent at the look of disgust on Severus' face.

_How can he seem so certain when he is obviously mistaken?_

Unable to find the nerve to protest any further, Hermione bows her head. It is because of this she does not see Snape's fluid withdrawal of his wand or the subsequent waves.

Cuffs appear instantly around her hands and she jumps, startled. Hermione shoots Snape a fierce, questioning glare but her fire is replaced by fear when she sees the predatory gleam in his dark eyes.

Snape reaches out and places a hand on her shoulder and then gently pushes her back, urging her to lie down. Hermione's breath hitches and stomach rolls, but she complies with eyes clenched shut.

_Play nice… be good… don't fight._

Snape spreads out on the bed and places a tentative hand on the hem of her shirt. Ever so slowly he begins to slip his hand under the fabric and form gentle circles on her abdomen.

_Don't move…_

His hand reaches higher and he traces the bottom curve of her breast with one finger.

_Earn trust, Hermione._

She forces herself to remain as still as possible as his hand ventures even further up to cup her breast. Hermione opens her eyes and looks at Snape, attempting to show her acceptance of the situation but managing nothing more than expressing her terror.

Something flashes in Snape's eyes and he gives her breast a quick squeeze causing her to squirm and gasp with discomfort. Hermione can feel a single tear falling down her face and turns her head away from him. Immediately his lips descend on her exposed neck. After a quick kiss and a faint nibble, Snape bites down hard just stopping short of breaking skin.

She lets out a quiet pant, struggling to regulate her breathing and pounding heart.

The pain from her neck easing and the sudden draft that hits her makes her eyes pop open and head flip towards him.

Snape is standing over her. He gives her an unreadable look and then turns on heel and stalks away. At the door he turns to face her once more.

"Call Mazy if you require anything," he tells her coolly.

Then, banishing her cuffs, he leaves.

SS

After leaving, Severus uses a secret entrance behind a portrait of some famous Quidditch player to access his private laboratory. He could have entered through his old rooms but did not want Hermione knowing he would be so close.

_Damn that girl…_

He paces back and forth around his workspace attempting to erase her reactions from his memory: her shock, anger, tears, fear, and her acceptance.

Unfortunately, without _her_ reactions to think about he is left only with his own.

_Her skin was so smooth, body so soft… almost willing. But no, _he reminds himself,_ not willing, just… compliant. _

He is furious at himself for the twinge of disappointment in his gut, and for that _other_ twinge a bit lower. Severus storms to his potion cupboard and starts tearing ingredients from the shelves. Sadly, the potions needing restocked in the hospital wing Severus could brew blindfolded and offer no respite from his own thoughts.

HG

_Maybe his plan is to drive me crazy little by little._

_Like that would work._

_Well you are talking to yourself an awful lot… and responding._

Hermione plops down on a dining chair and crosses her arms angrily in way her father would declare 'uncontrollably pouty.'

_I'm not pouting, _she silently declares.

_Okay, fine. You're not pouting… but you are talking to yourself again._

Huffing, which even she can't deny as pouting, Hermione stands up and calls for Mazy.

CRACK!

"How can I be helping you, Missy?" Mazy asks.

"Please, enough with the 'Missy,' my name is Hermione."

"I is sorry Missy Hermione, what services can I be helping with?" Mazy bows low apologetically.

"I'm done with the breakfast dishes," Hermione tells her. "Um, and I need a clock."

Mazy wrings the bottom of her toga and bites her lower lip.

"Mazy is not sure..."

"What's the worst I could do with a clock? I just need a small one so I can get on a regular sleep schedule. It would please the Headmaster if I was awake for once when he comes to visit," she urges.

Without answering her, the little elf snaps away the dishes and quickly follows in the same manner of exit. Hermione barely lets out half of a sigh when Mazy appears holding out a small pocket watch. Hermione takes it excitedly and squeezes the elf's hand in gratitude.

"Thank you, Mazy!" she cries.

"Anything else I can get you, Missy Hermione?"

"Do you know if the Headmaster plans on joining me for any more meals today?"

The elf nods.

"He is telling Mazy he is going to be having a late supper here with you, around 8."

"Alright thank you, Mazy. Oh! One more thing, could you possibly warn me if the Headmaster heads here for an unexpected visit? Just so I have a chance to make myself decent," Hermione assures her.

Mazy is quiet for a long while, and Hermione almost loses hope.

"It would be improper for Missy to be walked in on by a male not Missy's husband. And that is being bad for Hogwarts so is also being bad reflection of Mazy. I will put a detector charm on Missy's door. It dings if you is having a visitor," Mazy explains.

Without giving her a chance to respond Mazy Disapparates leaving Hermione feeling happy for the first time in a while.

_Yes!_

Smiling, Hermione rushes to the bookshelf and pulls out _Willful Wish-Work for the Wandless_, then she carefully arranges the books to look as if none are missing. Happy with her work she retreats to the bathroom and locks the door. After a quick perusal of the book Hermione climbs into the empty bathtub, placing the pocket watch on the ledge.

_Ooh, the charm works even without water._

She leans back into the cushy marble and opens the book. The first chapter is entitled "Lightening the dark and shadowing the Light."

Lumos _and _Nox _are the most fundamental spells of a witch or wizard's spell cache. _ _If one ever find one's self in a situation without a wand these spells are likely to be helpful, either by lighting the way or hiding an escape. _

_A wand is just an extension of the Witch or Wizard; the magic flows from the witch or wizard and into the wand so it may be directed. With proper practice and concentration one can control the flow of their magic and perform many different spells. _

_To begin, chant the following phrase: "My magic is mine to direct."_

Hermione chants.

_Concentration is key. Wandless magic has a similar technique to Apparation and requires much determination. Now, to attempt wandless magic repeat the chant in your head (this is a concentration tool and will become unnecessary as you progress), concentrate on what you wish to do and then say the spell aloud, "_Nox!_"_

Hermione recites the chant over and over again in her head and concentrates on the bathroom light extinguishing. She takes a deep breath…

"_Nox!"_

Nothing happens.

"Damn it."

She closes her eyes and starts the concentration ritual all over again.

SS

After having brewed several batches of Pepper-up Potions, Calming Draughts and Blood-Replenishing Potions Severus is feeling much calmer and in control of his thoughts.

_Luckily, _he thinks as his arm begins to burn.

"At your service, my Lord." Severus bows.

"Rise, Severuss," Voldemort hisses. "I have not yet received a memory today, I was worried your Mudblood had gotten the better of you."

Severus looks into Voldemort's eyes.

"Never, my Lord. I was merely caught up in interrogating her. I have discovered something important about some of your 'loyal' followers."

"Sshow me."

Severus focuses on Hermione's account of the trio's visit to Malfoy Manor. Voldemort is quick and brutal in his search.

"Betrayers!" Voldemort cries pulling from Severus' mind.

"I am sorry to bring you such unwelcome news, my Lord."

"I know, my most faithful servant. I will deal with the Malfoy's and my dear Bellatrix soon but first tell me more of your relationship with the Mudblood," Voldemort demands.

"I would not call it a relationship… that implies she is a person," Severus contradicts boldly.

Voldemort cackles loudly.

"Ah, Severus, always so good at answering without _truly_ answering. Your actions as of late please me and therefore I am willing to offer you a compromise."

"A compromise, my Lord?"

"I know you are a very private man, and I know having someone watching your sexual exploits bothers you deeply. So as a sign of my faith in you I will allow you a reprieve… of sorts."

Severus raises a questioning eyebrow.

HG

After more failed attempts than she'd care to admit Hermione finally manages to turn out the bathroom lights wandlessly. She is so stunned she jumps and drops the book in the tub.

Taking a calming breath she concentrates as hard as she can.

"_Lumos!_"

The lights flicker briefly and almost sputter out but after another seconds hesitation they come on as if never interrupted.

Hermione smiles brilliantly and jumps to her feet; she is instantly hit by a wave of dizziness and sits back down on the ledge of the bathtub. Her hand brushes the pocket watch as she grasps the ledge to steady herself. After a few deep breaths she picks up the watch.

_7:45 p.m._

"Shit…"

She realizes she's spent several hours huddled in the bathroom attempting very complicated magic and that she's hardly eaten.

_Smart choices, Granger_, she chides herself.

Carefully she stands up and makes her way out of the bathroom. Gaining her bearings she quickly puts the book back and places the watch under her pillow. She then runs to the bathroom to check herself in the mirror. Just has she had feared her skin is a pale sickly pallor, a physical sign of her drained magical energy.

Hermione splashes cold water into her face and pinches her cheeks. A little color reappears just as the room emits a faint 'ding.' Casually Hermione exits the bathroom and spots Snape standing by the door, scoping the room.

"There you are," he says.

"Where else would I be?" she mutters.

"I suppose you are ready for dinner?" Snape asks. Not waiting for an answer he continues, "Mazy, dinner."

The dining table instantly sprouts food, mimicking the Great Hall. Snape gestures for Hermione to sit and quickly follows suit.

This time, too hungry to wait, Hermione begins eating immediately not even noticing what is on her plate. After demolishing more than half of her meal in a very unladylike fashion, Hermione slows her fork and takes smaller bites.

"You seem much calmer than earlier," he notes coolly, his demeanor reminiscent of the vile Potions master from her school days.

Hermione pauses mid-bite and realizes that she hasn't thought about Ron taking the Dark Mark, or Snape's accusation since he kissed her that morning.

She sets her fork down and takes a contemplative sip from her goblet.

Her world starts to go fuzzy, edges start to blur and she has one last distinguishable thought before everything fades to black…

_Maybe that was the point. He kissed me to distract me._

SS

_That took bloody long enough; I thought I'd have to propose a toast._

Severus stood up from the table and, for the second time of the day, gathered Hermione in his arms and carried her to bed. He laid her flat and pulled out his wand.

The Dark Lord instructed him to use a special spell to report on Severus' activities with the girl. All he had to do was cast it and an aura would appear around her revealing her latest sexual exploits, then Severus would just send a memory of the spell cast to the Dark Lord.

Although he knows what to expect he reviews once more…

_White – Virgin_

_Green – Sexually Active_

He aims his wand.

"_Revelio actes sexuals!"_

An aura begins to build slowly around her. It turns red.

_Rape._


	7. The Boy Who Lost

**_Disclaimer:_**Sadly, they are not mine.

SS

_Rape._

Severus stares intently at the red glow emitting from around Hermione's sleeping form, silently berating himself for his earlier insensitivity.

_The noble Potter, even worse than his despicable father... Not even taking the time to coerce the poor girl, instead just stealing what he wants. _

Sighing heavily Severus begins to pace back and forth, trying to determine the best course of action. He is angry at himself for all the times he touched Hermione inappropriately and hoped she would be able to easily forget it. Each of his caresses and grazes must have felt like sand in an open wound.

_It is no wonder she held such fear in her eyes…_

He snorts.

_Yes, it was all because of this, not because you are a Death Eater holding her captive. I'm sure had she not been raped she would be begging to come to your bed._

Severus shakes his head as if that will clear the thoughts he doesn't wish to have. It doesn't work and he is left wondering if he truly wants her to desire him.

Being a man quite capable of multitasking, Severus is able to muse silently over the recently discovered question while he sets about his newly decided task. He flicks his wand and watches as Hermione's clothes transform from boxers and a button down shirt into a silky green peignoir.

Another flick adds a few tears to the fabric and cut to Hermione's lip. She doesn't feel it though while being so far under sedation.

Severus reaches out and rumples the blankets beneath her, and then noticing the red glow has faded, he casts the spell again.

"_Revelio actes sexuals!"_

The glow returns and Severus concentrates hard on the scene before him, wanting it to be a clear memory. When he is positive it is etched permanently in his mind, he moves on transforming the peignoir into a black bra and panty set. He slightly heals the cut on her lip, making it look older and then adds what looks like red welts to her upper arms. He concentrates again.

Severus continues this for almost forty-five minutes, finally finishing with Hermione laying face down, back covered in fingernail scratches, and wearing nothing more than a hiked up pleated skirt and a Slytherin tie around her neck.

He made enough memories to keep the Dark Lord happy for two weeks and to keep Severus feeling guilty for a lifetime. He didn't feel guilty about _making _the memories; after all they were going to protect her as much as they would him. But he did feel guilty to his reaction of seeing her in those highly revealing outfits.

He runs his wand down her back removing any signs of the scratches and then gently turns her back over. He tries extremely hard not to look at her exposed breasts and fails. Severus quickly transforms her clothes back to normal and erases any other bruises. He kneels beside her and places a hand on her cheek.

"I'm sorry."

Hermione shifts at his touch and turns her face further towards his hand. Severus sighs and wishes he could be the comfort her sleeping form mistakes him for.

HG

"Missy? Missy Hermione? It is being time for breakfast."

Hermione shifts groggily and opens her eyes finding herself face to face with a very worried house-elf.

"Ah! Mazy, you frightened me." Hermione gasps.

"I is sorry, missy. That not being Mazy's intention. I was just wanting to inform you breakfast is ready."

Hermione sits up in bed and looks around, trying to recall going to sleep.

_The last thing I remember is having dinner with Professor Snape… Shit! I must have fallen asleep because of how much I was pushing myself yesterday practicing wandless magic. I bet he is furious._

Hermione bites her lower lip and looks down at the nervous little elf next to the bed. Mazy is wringing the hem of her toga worriedly, watching Hermione for any signs of anger.

"Don't worry, Mazy, I know you didn't mean to scare me."

"Oh no," Mazy exclaims, letting out a sigh of relief. "I is just telling you that—"

"Breakfast is ready."

Mazy nods and rushes over to the table.

Hermione quickly swings out of bed and slides into her slippers. After a quick trip to the loo she follows the delicious smell of sausage and potatoes to the table.

"Is Professor Snape joining me this morning?" she asks, noticing the table set for two.

"He will be down shortly."

_He must not be too angry then…_

Hermione busies herself by preparing her tea just the way she likes it, with a dash of milk and two lumps of sugar. The familiar actions sooth her nerves slightly and she finds herself less agitated when the room dings notifying her of her visitor.

Snape sweeps in, morning paper tucked under his arm, and nods curtly at her as he takes his seat.

"Good morning, Sir," Hermione says sheepishly while staring down at her plate.

"Morning. I trust you slept well?"

"I am so sorry, Professor." She rushes, looking up at him. "I did not mean to fall asleep in the middle of dinner last night."

Snape arches an eyebrow at her and picks up his cup of tea. After a long sip and a pointed look he finally responds.

"Just don't let it happen again. My time happens to be very valuable and I have many other ways I could be spending my time aside from entertaining a captive Muggle-born." His voice is the cool condescending tone Hermione is used to from class.

Hermione feels her cheeks flush and finds herself too angry to hold her tongue.

"I am oh so sorry to encroach on your _very valuable _time," she huffs sarcastically. "Here's an idea, let me out of this miserable dungeon and you'll no longer have to _entertain_ me."

Snape's eyes flash.

"Or perhaps," he offers, "I could leave you down here to starve and rot."

Hermione chooses not to respond and instead stares intently at her plate as she picks at breakfast.

_Great work on being nice,_ she chides herself.

_Oh shut up._

Professor Snape is the first one to break the silence.

"I brought you the _Prophet_, there is an article I think you'll be particularly interested in," he slides the paper across the table.

Unable to control her curiosity, Hermione reaches out to take the paper. It doesn't take long for her to find the article.

_Oh no._

Overwhelmed, tears start streaming down her face uncontrollably. On the front page is the headline "THE BOY WHO LOST" stamped over a sickening image of Harry's lifeless body on display in a glass coffin near the Great Lake. Hermione tries to read the article but only manages to barely skim it. Bits and pieces stick out.

_The Dark Lord proclaims triumph…_

_Worthless teenager no match…_

_No more human shields could protect him…_

But by far the worst was the closing line: "_Potter's body will remain on display permanently, his decomposition will be proof that he was no more than a foolish boy with a large amount of dimwitted followers willing to die protecting him._"

Hermione threw the paper onto the table.

"I'm going to be sick," she gasps, getting up to rush to the bathroom.

SS

Sounds of the girl emptying her stomach echo out of the bathroom putting Severus off his breakfast.

_Nice work,_ he sarcastically congratulates himself.

If he were to admit it, Severus finds her response rather confusing. He had assumed seeing the humiliating fate of her rapist would bring her peace.

He sighs loudly, snatching the paper from the table and incinerating it with his wand.

_Leave it to Granger to feel pity for those undeserving of it. She did after all, momentarily, consider _your_ innocence._

Slow, careful footsteps alert Severus to her return.

"Excuse me, I am — erm, sorry, about that display," she offers, looking anywhere but at him with her bloodshot eyes.

He can tell from the expression on her tearstained face that she is moments from another 'display.'

"Despite all of his…_faults,_" Severus grinds out, "you did, for whatever reason, view Potter as a… friend. Your response is understandable."

Granger glances up at him.

"_However_," he stresses, "I will not tolerate these outbursts so graciously in the future. If you expect me to keep bringing you news, you _must _learn to control yourself."

She remains silent.

"Do you understand me?" he asks.

"Yes, sir," she answers quietly, returning her gaze to the floor.

"Good. Seeing as I no longer have an appetite, I'll be on my way. I will see you at dinner."

Then without giving her even the slightest chance to respond, Severus stalks out.

Author's Note: Please, please, please forgive the ridiculous amount of time it has been since my last update! A lot has happened to keep me away. My husband and I started trying to get pregnant around the last update and we were very quickly successful. My pregnancy was a very rough one which kept me in bed most of the time feeling sick. Then I had my son and he has been keeping me very busy the last 8 months. I do hope to be very regular with updates now, and I will be aiming for one a week. All comments and reviews are appreciated and will help keep me motivated, so thank you in advance.


	8. Flames Ignited

HG

After Professor Snape's departure, Hermione is once more overcome with tears for the humiliating treatment of her friend's body. She retreats back to bed and folds in on herself. Pulling her knees up to her chest she wraps her arms around them tightly. Hermione fears if she doesn't keep a firm grip her sobs will tear her apart.

_You deserve so much better, Harry._

Hours pass by and still she remains in the same fetal position, though the tears have long since faded.

_You should go practice your wandless magic, _she tells herself with no real conviction.

She remains motionless.

_Today is running out. _He _will be back soon. _Hermione shudders.

Hermione is once again torn by Professor Snape's actions. She would like to believe there might be some good in him, and that he brings her the papers to keep her informed on what is happening out there. But the more logical part of her mind tells her that he is just trying to break her down piece by piece.

_Breaking a spirit is more rewarding than breaking a body,_ her mind supplies.

Hermione shies away from the idea.

_My spirit will not be broken, _she vows. _That would just be one more blow to Harry's sacrifice. _

Her hands are tingly and numb as she slowly unclasps them. As she begins to uncurl, her body pops and relishes in her stretches. Blood rushes through her freely again and Hermione lets out a gasp as several areas of her body begin to wake up at once.

_Way worse than a sleeping foot…_

Hermione sighs heavily and climbs out of bed. She feels her sense of determination returning and, after retrieving the book on wandless magic; she disappears into the comfort of the bathroom.

SS

Severus had become used to eating meals in his office since becoming headmaster. There were always forms to file, complaints to handle, disputes to settle, and of course professors to deal with.

When he was first named headmaster, his fellow teachers had gone out of their way to make everything difficult for him. It was their only way to rebel against Dumbledore's murderer; their way of showing they would never respect the nasty likes of Severus Snape.

He was reminded of Dolores Umbridge's reign as headmistress and how amusing he had thought it when the staff came together to hassle that miserable wreck of witch.

He no longer finds the unity of the staff amusing. He finds it tiresome, tedious, and utterly grating.

Although if he were completely honest with himself, at first he had been glad of their hatred, he had reveled in it, in fact. Because it meant that they still believed in the cause and they were willing to fight back, even if it was by doing something as ridiculous as making him fill out maintenance orders for clogged toilets and squeaky door hinges. It meant they were keeping the fire of their wish to fight lit and just waiting for the moment they could release it to burn down their enemies.

Standing in his office Severus looks down on his empty desk and clenches his jaw. Every day since Potter's death his desk has been empty. No more bogus reports to file, field trips to approve, classroom items to order. The staff has finally stopped tormenting him.

He wants to curse them all.

_They have given up… let the fire burn out in the wake of their despair for Potter. I need to assess the situation._

Wearing his signature sneer, Severus turns on his heel to head to the Great Hall for lunch. He had been perfectly content, in a way, taking all of his meals privately. The few times he had shown up to eat with the rest of the school he was faced with three quarters of the student population glaring at him and muttering threats under their breath. He had been forced to start issuing detentions to keep up appearances. It had been much easier on everyone when he stayed to his rooms.

Severus hadn't been sure what to expect in the Great Hall, but what he finds turns his stomach.

_Defeat. The only word to describe this is defeat._

The hall is mostly silent with only a few whispers here and there. Almost all the students' heads are bowed, only the Slytherins sit tall.

Severus marches up to the staff table, along the way noting how all the students look away from him.

The staff isn't much different. They are all silent, though they do not bow their heads. They stare out at the students, trying to show strength. It is not hard to see their eyes are empty though, that there is no hope left in them. None of them look at Severus as he takes his seat in the middle of the table.

_Something must be done. They cannot give in just because Potter is gone._

As he eats, Severus tries to decide on the best course of action.

_I cannot, for obvious reasons, attempt to restore hope. But maybe I can give them anger, and another reason to fight._

Severus turns to his right to look at Minerva.

"Minerva, could you remind me when the next Gryffindor Quidditch match is?" he asks in a bored tone as he turns his attention back to his plate.

He can feel her cool glance.

"It is in three weeks, Headmaster. Against Ravenclaw," her voice is hollow.

"Ah, excellent," he replies before taking another bite.

He can tell she is trying hard to restrain from asking. She fails.

"Why?"

"I just thought is might be a nice treat. I know Miss Granger loves her house and would want to show her support," he says smoothly.

Minerva's head flips towards him so fast he is surprised it doesn't keep spinning.

"Miss Granger? What are you talking about? She is alive?"

"Why yes, for now. She is in my old rooms."

The other staff members are paying close attention, not sure what to make of the news.

"W-why?" Minerva asks.

"She was a gift from the Dark Lord. I thought I might take her to the Quidditch match as a reward. She has been so very… _receptive_." Severus lets the last word drip with innuendo.

Beside him Minerva stiffens and he can hear other staff members gasp and start to whisper.

Severus pushes his plate away dramatically and stands up.

"Good day. I think I'll take my dessert with Miss Granger," he says seductively as he looks down at Minerva.

Just before he turns away, he sees it. Right there in Minerva's eye. A spark.

_The flame is relit._

HG

After a dozen or so times of turning the bathroom lights on and off wandlessly, Hermione finally concedes she has mastered the wandless _Lumos _and _Nox_.

She closes _Willful Wish-Work for the Wandless_ and climbs out of the marble tub. Making her way to the mirror, she is not surprised by the horrible state she is in. Her skin is a sickly white pallor although the area around her tearstained eyes looks swollen and red.

_You pushed yourself too far again, _she silently admonishes.

Hermione consults her pocket watch and discovers she has over an hour before Snape will join her for dinner.

_I should take a bath._

_Yes, make yourself presentable for him, _the sarcastic voice in her head sneers.

She ignores herself and begins filling the tub. This time when she searches the bathroom she finds a bottle of unscented bubble bath, she pours some into the filling tub and undresses. Soon the tub is ready and she is making herself comfortable in the hot, frothy water. She wets a washcloth and places it over her eyes, hoping to ease the swelling.

She is asleep in minutes.

"Your bubbles are almost gone, Miss Granger," Snape purrs.

Hermione jumps up immediately and removes the washcloth from her eyes. Snape is standing in the door of the bathroom, watching her with an unreadable expression. Looking down at the water she realizes he is right and crosses her arms over her chest.

She feels her cheeks burning in embarrassment but refuses to show her fear.

_Stay calm._

"Can you hand me a towel?" she asks, managing to keep her voice from shaking.

She just makes out his look of surprise before Snape returns to being unreadable. He pauses only a moment before walking into the bathroom and over to the cupboard containing towels. He grabs one and walks to the edge of the tub.

Instead of handing it to her he holds it open, and Hermione realizes she has entered into some sort of game.

Refusing to be the first one to back down, Hermione takes a deep, silent breath and stands up from the tub. She carefully steps out of the bath and into the towel, which is promptly wrapped around her.

Snape's hands rest on her shoulders for a long moment before he finally removes them. Hermione turns to face him and realizes just how close to one another they are standing.

He is so much taller than her that she finds herself looking straight into his chest. Slowly, she raises her chin to look up at him. His black eyes bore into her brown ones and her breathe catches in her throat but she refuses to be the first one to look away.

_Stay strong._

Snape reaches a hand up and brushes a wet lock of hair behind her ear. His hand lingers for a moment grazing her cheek. As soon as his fingers touch her skin a jolt shoots between them, he snaps his hand back and abruptly turns to walk out.

"Dinner is ready," he tells her coolly.

_What the bloody hell was that?_

SS

Granger sits across the table from him trying not to make eye contact. Being a master of stealth, Severus watches her surreptitiously through his hair. She stares at him between bites, but as soon as she seems to realize what she is doing she averts her gaze immediately.

_What is she thinking?_ He wonders.

Severus knew as he had approached the bathroom door that he shouldn't go in. He told himself it was a bad idea. When he listened at the door and didn't hear anything he started to worry that she have done something rash… or so he told himself.

He had opened the door, scathing remark ready, and had been struck silent at the sight of her in the bath. She had her head reclined with a washcloth over her eyes. There were a few bubbles still floating in the water but he could make out the outline of her body.

He was shocked when she asked him for a towel, but quickly knew she was trying to play it cool and challenge him. He accepted her challenge and raised the stakes, holding the towel for her and wrapping her in its warmth. When she had turned to face him he couldn't stop himself from reaching to move a lock of hair from her eye. When he did he was hit with the intoxicating scent of lavender and chamomile. Severus still wasn't sure what happened when he had touched her. Just that an electrical charge shot through him, snapping him out of the thrall her eyes had him in.

Severus catches her watching him again and this time lets her know he is watching. She looks a little embarrassed and clears her throat.

"Anymore news you would care to share?" she asks quietly.

"Nothing more today," he answers. "Can I ask you something?"

She looks a little timid, but nods yes.

"How is it you smell so strongly of lavender and chamomile when you were bathing in unscented bubble bath?"

She seems surprised by my question and takes a moment to answer.

"Before Har— the boys and I left on… our trip I realized we would have to travel very light. To me, being hygienic was rather important, but I realized the impracticality of carrying enough soap to last for however long we would be gone. So, I devised a spell where I could enchant my skin with my favorite body wash. Whenever I bathe I just have to say a key word and I become soapy."

Severus arches an eyebrow at her, impressed.

"You created the spell?"

"Um, yes. There were others similar to it, but none that lasted long enough. Mine lasts for six months." She answers.

"Interesting."

Severus picks up his napkin and wipes his mouth.

"I have to be going," he tells her, standing up.

"When will you be back?" Granger asks him, and immediately bites her lip as f she is surprised the question escaped.

"I'm not sure."

He walks to the door giving her one last glance before exiting. When he leaves he places all his usual wards on the door except for one. Instead of his normal, unbreakable silencing charm, he uses just a basic spell instead.

_I hope I'm right._


	9. Dreams and Revelations

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, but if they were I wouldn't leave them on the shelf to collect dust while fans begged for more like a certain someone... (yeah, I'm _so_ not bitter /shifty/)

* * *

HG

_Hermione is in bed, sleeping, when a sudden dip in the mattress rouses her. Her comforter is slowly pulled down so it bunches at her waist and as the cool air hits her she is shocked to realize she is naked. She feels long, warm fingers tracing gentle circles on her abdomen causing goose bumps to pepper her skin. Electricity courses through her veins and she turns to see who is next to her._

_Professor Snape looks down on her, his eyes raking up and down. The hunger in his gaze makes it hard for Hermione to breath. Dexterous fingers glide from her navel up between her breasts and come to rest on her throat. Her skin is on fire. _

_Professor Snape curves his hand around the back of her head and lowers his face towards hers. His lips are soft and gentle. Something is causing Hermione's limbs to tingle, and as Snape's mouth urges her own to open she understands. It is desire… longing… Want. _

_Hermione opens her mouth to his probing tongue and arches against him. She reaches out for him, wanting to pull him down and feel his weight on top of her._

_Professor Snape pulls away and looks at her questioningly._

"_Please," she begs._

_She wraps a hand into his silky hair and tries to pull him back down._

"_Please…"_

_Ever so slowly he leans in and his lips graze hers…_

Hermione sits straight up in bed, panting from the longing still burning inside of her. Her dream was so vibrant, the memory of his touch feels as if it's etched into her skin.

_Oh no… No. No. No. I did not just have… THAT kind of dream about Severus Bloody Snape._

_I think you did, my dear. You are even more messed up then I, that is to say, you thought._

_Shut up._

A knocking on her chamber door interrupts her inner conversation.

"Hermione? Are you in there?"

_It can't be._

Hermione rushes out of bed and over to the door.

"Hello? Hermione, can you hear me?"

"Professor McGonagall? I-Is that you?" Hermione asks, certain she must still be dreaming.

"Oh, thank goodness! Are you all right? Has he injured you?" Professor McGonagall rushes. "How did this happen?"

"I'm okay… well, unharmed at least. It's a long story. The short version is that after Harry… after Harry, Voldemort was preparing to kill me and Professor Snape stopped him. He told Voldemort that he wanted me and so I was given to him. I've been down here ever since." Hermione explains all in one breath. "How did you know I was here?"

Hermione puts her back against the door and slides down to sit on the floor, turning her ear to hear better.

"Severus told me at lunch today. He asked about Quidditch and mentioned he wanted to take you to a match because you deserved a treat. He insinuated some horrible things, Hermione. Has he… did he force you to—?"

"No," Hermione flushed, recalling her dream. "He may have stepped over the line a couple of times, but it was nothing that I couldn't handle."

"I'm so sorry. I will find a way to get you out of here," McGonagall promises. "I can't break the wards tonight though. Severus' spell work is too strong for me. I am, in fact, amazed that I was able to break his silencing charm. It was a rather weak spell."

Hermione files that bit of information away with plans to come back to it later.

"What is happening out there? I only know what he chooses to tell me. What is happening with the Order? Is there a new plan?" Hermione asks.

Silence meets her question.

"Professor?"

"The Order of the Phoenix has all but fallen. A few members still fight, but most have given up hope. Voldemort has control of everything and everyone. He is in the open now and no one dares stand against him. He is ruthless."

"We have to rally more fighters! The war _can_ be won without Harry… he would want us to keep fighting," Hermione urges. "We can still win."

There is another pause before the older woman answers her.

"The war is over, Hermione. We have lost. There is nothing left we can do, Voldemort is too strong."

"How can you say that? If you believe that then why even try to free me? If it is over then there is nothing out there for me and I am better left here to rot as Professor Snape's plaything," Hermione spits out, imagining McGonagall's wince.

"I will get you out, get you a wand, and then you must flee. Leave the country, Hermione. Find somewhere he cannot chase you."

"I will not be a coward."

"Then you will die as surely as Harry." McGonagall tells her. "Someone is coming! I must go. Be strong, Hermione. I will be back."

"Professor? Wait, I—" Hermione feels a _whoosh_ and knows the silencing charm is back in place.

She grinds her teeth in anger and frustration.

_How can they all just give in! Cowards! The lot of them… _

Hermione gets up and storms across the room to the dining table.

_And what was that bit about Snape's weak spell? That does not seem like something Severus Snape would overlook…_

_Unless… he overlooks it on purpose. _

_Why would he also tell the staff he is holding a former student in his bedchambers? He must have known McGonagall would spring into action to protect one of her cubs, right?_

_Anyone who has spent more than ten minutes with the woman knows that._

Hermione shakes her head in confusion.

_Is it possible that Severus Snape is on our side?_

A plan to figure this out quickly forms in her mind.

_Are you sure? That is rather risky if you are wrong…_

_There are not a lot of other options._

Taking a deep breath, Hermione attempts to prepare herself for what she must do.

MM

Things do not seem to be adding up for Minerva McGonagall.

_Which is rather rare, _she thinks.

She is not being arrogant in thinking highly of her own mental capacities. Minerva is an honest, straightforward person; and the honest truth is she is normally quite brilliant.

Once in her own chambers she starts pacing back and forth trying to work things out.

_Why would Severus announce to everyone he was holding Hermione? It wasn't to cause more defeat… we were as low as we could go. _

_It obviously wasn't to inquire about when the Gryffindor Quidditch match is. _

"Like the Headmaster wouldn't know."

_Severus Snape never says anything without meaning, and if the match wasn't the true meaning, what was?_

_If it were any other man I would say the purpose was simply to gloat about having conquered the girl, but he is too private a man. He would never usually reveal his… bedroom activities. Yet at lunch he made quite a show about his relations with Hermione._

_Even stranger is the fact that Hermione says he did not force himself upon her._

Minerva fetches herself a strong drink and collapses into a chair by her fireplace.

_If it wasn't the match, wasn't to lower our spirits, and wasn't to gloat that only leaves one option… He wanted us to know she was there._

She takes a deep sip from her snifter of scotch.

_Why would he want us to know? And why the easily broken silencing charm when I know he can do better? The biggest question is why risk himself by asking Voldemort for Hermione, but then leave her be?_

_Click…_

"That bastard!"

SS

Severus is in his office reading peacefully when the angry Scotswoman bursts in and descends upon him.

"You lying two-faced son-of-a-bitch!" She curses, flying across the room pointing at him.

Severus is unable to hide the shock on his face as he closes his book and looks up at her. Quickly he regains his usual cool indifference.

"Good evening to you as well, Minerva. May I inquire as to the reason for your rude late night visit?" he asks.

"I know," she tells him, becoming instantly somber.

"What is it you think you know?" he sneers.

"Severus… I know."

She stares intently into his eyes and opens her mind, showing him what she has discovered. Severus sighs wearily and withdraws his wand. Minerva looks a little shaken but calms down once she realizes he just casting a spell to block the portraits from eavesdropping.

"How did you figure it out?" he asks as he moves to stand in front of his desk, his voice strained.

"From your little display this afternoon and a short chat with a certain 'insufferable know-it-all," she smirks a bit at the moniker, but it is undermined by the tears in her eyes. "Severus, I am so sorry I didn't realize sooner. Please, my friend, forgive me?"

Before he understands what happened he is wrapped in the arms of the, now fully weeping, woman. He knows he should push her away but in that moment he cannot. He is too overcome with relief… relief that someone _finally_ knows the truth.

"You weren't supposed to know, Minerva. It is not your fault."

"We were friends, Severus. I should have trusted in you… trusted in Albus' faith in you." She gasps. "Albus! This is all his doing isn't it? He made you kill him?"

Severus finally pulls away from the woman and gestures to his couch.

"Sit, this is a long story," he tells her.

Severus joins her on the couch and sets off telling her, almost, all of his tale about how he ended up as the Dark Lord's right hand man and the spy of Albus Dumbledore. The only thing left out was the mention of a certain redheaded witch.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I just want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story, it really makes me eager to get a new chapter out when I get your feedback. Also, thank you to everyone who has favorited this story, or who has started following it. I hope you are enjoying this tale!


	10. Pass or Fail?

**Disclaimer: **No matter how hard I wish, they are still not mine.

* * *

SS

After his long discussion with Minerva, Severus was feeling... well, he wasn't sure how he was feeling.

_It's not hopeful…_ _The Dark Lord is still far too strong for hope. _

Severus sighs as he exits his office to make his way down to the dungeons.

_It feels almost like relief, but that is not quite right either. I'm glad to finally share the burden, but I'm fairly certain I will never see 'relief' in this lifetime, _He sneers to himself. _I guess I feel… lighter. That is the only way to describe it._

Minerva had listened intently to his tale, not saying one word until he was finished. Although throughout his story she hadn't needed to say anything; her expressions said it all.

She showed interest in his leaving the Dark Lord, respect when he turned spy for Dumbledore, anger when Dumbledore expected so much, sadness at his expression of failing, admiration for him protecting Granger, but overall she showed her guilt.

It absolutely killed Minerva that she had been blind to what had been really happening, especially when after hearing the truth she noticed how obvious it should have been to her. She begged and begged for forgiveness even after she was repeatedly reminded she was supposed to think those horrible things about him. She left his office for dinner on a promise that they would speak again in the morning before her classes.

Severus is very much looking forward to their discussion in spite of himself. He is eager to find out what the Order's next plan of attack is and how he can help.

He reaches the door to his old chambers and sets a mental reminder to put a full strength silencing charm on when he leaves; he forgot to tell Minerva to leave Granger out of loop.

Stepping into the room Severus finds it empty and lets out an annoyed sigh.

_Please don't be in the bath again… It was hard enough to resist you the first time, _Severus thinks. Followed quickly by,_ where the hell did that come from?_

He had been doing pretty well denying his body's reaction to the girl.

"Granger?" he calls, not wanting to go in the bathroom again.

"Yes?"

"Dinner is ready," he tells her, trying to keep the relief from his voice.

_At least she is awake._

Severus pulls a chair away from the table and is just preparing to sit down when she exits the bathroom.

_Oh, my dear sweet Merlin…_

Severus' mouth goes completely dry and very nearly falls open.

Standing in front of him wearing a very, very tiny towel is a dripping wet Hermione Granger.

"I had rather hoped we would skip right to dessert, Professor," she says silkily as she approaches him.

_When did I fall asleep? Because this has got to be a dream…_

Granger swings her hips seductively and his eyes are drawn down to her delicious legs. Months on the run had kept her incredibly fit and toned.

"What do you say?" she asks, reaching out to run a finger down his many buttons.

Even through all of the layers of clothing Severus feels the burning trail of her fingers and he realizes he is not dreaming.

_I… what… _

He finds himself unable to form a coherent thought due to the fact that what is currently happening _does not_ make any damn sense.

"What on earth do you think you are doing?" he asks in his best attempt at cold indifference, at which he fails.

"You said you wanted me," she purrs leaning into his ear, "that I'm _appealing. _I've been dreaming about you, wondering when you were finally going to claim your prize. You have been quite the tease."

Her lips almost graze his ear and Severus finds his body responding immediately. He can't think of what to say because his brain refuses to function while all of his blood is racing towards his massive erection.

Hermione, because he can longer just think of her as Granger, leans back and looks up into his smoldering eyes. He realizes she is trying to project a memory to him and looks into her mind. It is a dirty dream…

_With her… and me… and her… and she is enjoying it! _

"_Please," her dream-self begs._

He is almost too distracted by her wicked dream to hear the thoughts she believes she is hiding.

Almost.

He sees that she is testing him. She is trying to prove that he is on the side of the good. She believes that he will turn her down thus basically admitting he did not save her for selfish, devious reasons, but instead because he is… a hero.

_A hero? Miss Granger please, _he scoffs inwardly. _This was a risky move, girl. I will make you see that._

"I didn't realize you have been so… affected," he enunciates, not having to fake the husky edge to his voice.

Severus trails his fingers from her wrist all the way to her bare shoulder noticing the shiver that runs through her as he does so.

_Revulsion… that is why she shivers. _

"I have not meant to tease you, my little muggle born. I merely didn't wish to rush you."

He uses his hand still resting on her shoulder to guide her backwards to the nearest wall. Once she is pressed against it he captures both her wrists and pins her arms above her head.

"While I do love to hear a witch screaming beneath me, I am no rapist, I prefer them to be screams of pure… _pleasure_," he whispers seductively.

Hermione's chest is rising and falling rapidly, her breath hitching on its way out. Her chocolate eyes are wide and glazed as she stares up at him. Surprise clearly etched on her face.

_Scared, aren't we? You certainly aren't having trouble catching your breath for the same reasons as me._

Severus tells himself that he has probably gotten his point across, but he can't seem to pull away.

_Best be sure she gets it._

Very slowly he lowers his head to nuzzle into the hollow of her neck, kissing and nibbling, working a path up to the tender flesh of her ear lobe. He kisses her ear and nips at the lobe, noting Hermione's sharp intake of breath as he does so.

_Don't get so excited you foolish old man, _he chastises himself, _that is not desire you hear, but derision. _

Despite knowing that there is no way the sounds she is making are out of arousal, Severus cannot control the fire that flares through him at each gasp and tremor from her. He barely registers that he releases her wrists until he finds himself pressing her body firmly between his own and the wall. He snakes his hand into her damp curls and commands her head to lean back, giving him access to her lush, slightly pouty, mouth.

He means to kiss her teasingly but his intent is shattered when their lips meet. Severus is so intoxicated by her that he has to kiss her deeper. Her mouth opens in response and he probes her with his tongue, wanting to explore everywhere.

Hermione presses herself harder into his body, grinding against his bulge. Her arms wrap around his neck and he feels her push up on tiptoes to reach him better. Her fingers roam across his shoulders and she lets out a small moan.

_Yes, push closer. Ah, put more pressure right… ah, there. _Severus urges wordlessly.

_Wait… what the hell is she doing? _

He groans into her mouth as she continues grinding against him.

_Oh, Merlin, I know _what _she is doing. But why? How far is she willing to take this test?_

Severus is tempted to let her keep going, to see how far she really is willing to go to find the truth, but he fears if they go much longer he won't be able to stop at all.

He abruptly pulls away from her, barely registering the whimper that escapes her as he does so. Severus reaches out and takes her hand, then proceeds to lead her into the middle of the room so she is facing away from the door.

He moves to stand behind her, so extremely close but without actually touching her. Before Hermione can say anything, Severus reaches around her and quickly un-tucks the corner of her towel causing it fall around her ankles.

Her breath catches audibly again and Severus reaches up to sweep her hair over one shoulder. He then leans in to whisper quietly in her ear.

"While being forward is an extremely sexy trait in a woman… the next move is mine. _I_ decide when to 'claim my prize' as you put it. The wait makes it that… much… sweeter."

Quickly, before his resolve can shatter once more, Severus barges from the room in desperate need of a cold shower and strong drink.

HG

Standing in the middle of the room she can sense Professor Snape right behind her. All thoughts of her 'test' are gone from her mind and she wants to tell him to hurry, that she can't wait much longer or she'll explode.

He reaches around her and with one pass of his expert fingers her towel is on the floor. Her breathing becomes even more labored than it was a moment ago.

He flips her hair over one shoulder and leans into her exposed ear.

"While being forward is an extremely sexy trait in a woman… the next move is mine. _I_ decide when to 'claim my prize' as you put it. The wait makes it that… much… sweeter."

Hermione shivers and waits… and waits… and waits.

When she hears the door slam she flips around quickly.

_He… left?_

Hermione stands there, chest heaving, feeling her anger rise to a boiling point. Unable to control herself she lets out a screech of pure rage.

She can't decide what makes her the angriest: the fact that she still doesn't know where his loyalties lay, the fact that her entire body is coursing with need and desire, or the fact that in this moment she doesn't give a damn about his loyalties and all she wants is for him to touch her.

Ever since she has been locked in these damned dungeons Hermione has had to force herself to do everything. She has felt lost, unsure, forgotten, and like she has no control over her own future anymore.

She had come up with the test only to confirm her belief that Professor Snape was on her side. She was positive the he would back away, call her a silly insufferable girl, and leave. Then she would know.

But he hadn't. He met her invitation with fire and passion.

At first she was nervous, hoping he was just playing with her or upping the ante like he had when he found her in the bath.

But Professor Snape had been insistent, and she loved it. It made her feel alive, truly alive, for the first time in days. Then when she felt his… _well, you know_… she felt powerful and in control. _She _had done that to _him_, to _Professor Severus Snape_ the King of Indifference.

Hermione paces back and forth across the room unable to prevent herself from reliving what just happened. The more she goes over it the more aroused she gets and ultimately the more frustrated.

_Damn him! Damn these dungeons! Damn_ _McGonagall, Ron, and damn Harry Fucking Potter!_

_Whoa there, you don't mean that._

_Yes, I do. McGonagall didn't try hard enough last night to free me and she has practically abandoned this war. Ron is a self-serving, spoiled, little prat rivaling even that ferret Draco. _

"And Harry," she growls out loud.

_He just had to go after the damn Hallows! If he would have listened to me he would be alive, Ron wouldn't be in the running for 'Prick of the year,' and I wouldn't be trapped here…_

_Longing for your ex-professor to shag you senseless, _the annoying other voice provided.

_Oh shut up, _she ordered angrily.

Normally pacing helps calm her down, but not tonight. Her anger is out of control.

Ignoring the fact that she is still completely naked, Hermione grabs a teacup off of the already set dinner table and chucks it at the stone wall. Satisfaction runs through her as it shatters.

Next she grabs an empty plate, followed by another, then another glass, and finally a tray of food. She grabs the edge of the heavy table and burst of uncontrolled magic helps her flip it. Hermione picks up a chair and smashes it against the wall nearest her, then quickly grabs the second chair and does the same. Her rage is nowhere near burnt out but the only things she really has left she could destroy is her bed and the books.

Even in her rage she accepts that she will have to sleep sometime, and she knows that she could never be angry enough to destroy books.

_Did you not notice that burst of magic a moment ago? Wake up, Hermione._

An idea dawns on her and she realizes what to do with her pent up anger and frustration. Hermione picks her way through the broken glass and retrieves the book on wandless magic.

When she gets to the bathroom Hermione quickly flips to chapter two: _Alohomora_.

She closes the bathroom door harshly and sets to work, determination screaming from every cell in her body.

SS

Severus is in bed trying desperately to pretend he will be able to fall asleep, but knowing that even if he does actually manage sleep, Hermione Granger will most definitely be haunting his dreams.

_Dream… wait. She showed me a dream today, didn't she? _He thought suddenly. _Yes, she showed me a sex dream about her and I. But there is no way she could have fabricated that without a wand, which means… did Hermione have a real sex dream about the two of us?_

A loud, sudden, pop interrupts his startling discovery causing him to sit straight up in bed. The little house-elf, Mazy, is bouncing from foot to foot in front of him, clearly anxious about something.

"Headmaster Snape, I is sorry to bother you, but you must be coming quick!" she urges.

"What is going on?" he asks sharply.

"It's Missy Hermione, sir. She isn't breathing!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** I just want to note that while Hermione's anger may come across as extreme compared to her behavior and reactions in the story so far, it is essential. This is really a turning point for her. Also I want to thank everyone for the reviews and ask that you keep them coming! I want to know what you think about the direction the story is headed. Next update will be soon, I promise not to keep you hanging with this cliffie!


	11. The Repercussions of Frustration

**Disclaimer: **They are not mine, but I do promise to give them back... except maybe Severus... I might keep him ;)

* * *

SS

Severus launches himself out of bed without a moment of thought.

"Take me to her," her commands.

The small elf, used to his surly demeanor, doesn't hesitate. Mazy reaches out to grab his hand and Apparates them into Hermione's chambers. Severus takes in the ruined surroundings and feels fear shoot through him.

"Hermione!" he calls out.

"Missy Hermione is in the bathroom, sir," Mazy tells him.

Severus quickly, but carefully, makes his way across the room while trying to avoid all of the broken glass and splintered wood. He is barefoot and only wearing a pair of black pyjama pants; he did not want to waste time getting dressed.

In the bathroom he finds Hermione splayed out in the middle of the floor, still naked. Severus rushes to her side, kneels, and places his fingers on her throat searching for a pulse.

_There… but just barely._

He leans down closer and places his ear to her chest. The elf was right; Hermione isn't breathing.

Severus immediately starts performing CPR not daring to use magic when he is unsure how severe her condition is. He compresses her chest firmly and releases several times and then breathes deeply into her mouth.

_Pump, pump, pump… breath. _

_Pump, pump, pump… breath. _

"Come on," he growls at her, making his chest compressions harder and faster.

He breathes for her one more time and when he pulls away Hermione lets out a huge gasp.

"Yes," he tells her, relief dripping from his voice. "Wake up."

Her eyelids flutter gently but drift closed again, although her breathing does begin to regulate.

"Mm h-head… hurts," she whispers hoarsely.

Severus carefully lifts Hermione's head off of the hard floor with one hand while exploring the back of it with his other. Sure enough he finds a rather large lump.

"Mazy! Bring me a Pain Relief Potion, Swelling Reduction Draft, and a phial of Dreamless Sleep. Quickly, from my personal stores," he instructs.

He hears the elf pop out of the room.

"Hermione? Stay awake, you may have a concussion and I need you to focus," Severus tells her. "Can you tell me what happened? Did somebody hurt you?"

"No… my fault," she croaks, her eyes still closed. "My magic… can't feel…"

"What is your fault? What about your magic?" he urges.

"Pushed too hard… magic rebounded. I can't feel it," Hermione whimpers, finally looking up at him with distant, glassy, eyes. "I can't feel my magic."

Mazy pops back in, interrupting any response Severus might have had. He takes the potions from her and lifts Hermione into his lap so he is cradling her.

"Drink these, they will help," he says holding up the uncorked Pain Relief Potion.

Hermione doesn't protest, but instead opens her mouth so he can pour it in. He follows it up with the potion to reduce internal swelling, and then offers her the Dreamless Sleep. She recognizes the scent and starts to protest.

"Rest now," he shushes her, offering the potion again. "You'll feel better tomorrow."

She gives a barely perceptible nod and accepts the last potion. It doesn't take long for her lids to grow heavy, but he can tell she is fighting it while looking up.

"You should go shirtless more often," she notes, and then very abruptly falls asleep.

_What did she say?_

HG

_Oh, Merlin. My head… what happened?_

Hermione awakes feeling extremely groggy with an exploding headache. She tries to open her eyes but the light in the room is too much and causes the pain in her head to double.

"Ughn…" she moans.

She feels a slight breeze and hears someone rushing to her side.

"Drink this," Professor Snape tells her, holding a potion to her lips. "It's a Headache Cure."

She leans up in bed a bit and takes it from him, quickly downing it in one gulp. She then rests her head back on her pillow waiting for it to take effect.

"What happened?" she asks, hating how scratchy her words come out.

"You had some sort of accident in the bathroom. I believe you were attempting wandless magic when you became… unstable," he explains. "Your magic rebounded on you and threw you across the room. You had a concussion."

Hermione swallows, making a parched sound, and peeks her eyes open.

_He knows about the wandless magic._

_Shit…_

She carefully pulls herself up in bed and looks to Professor Snape, wanting to gauge his anger. She is a little surprised when she finds no anger on his face, and even more surprised when she takes in his appearance.

He is lounging in a chair next to her bed watching her intently. But that isn't what catches her attention most. He is wearing black sleep pants, a green dressing robe loosely tied at the waist, and looks amazing with part of his creamy white chest exposed.

A foggy memory comes back to her…

_He is cradling her naked form to his bare chest. She looks up at him in wonder, feeling very sleepy but wanting to study him. Her eyes drift shut against her will._

"_You should go shirtless more often."_

Hermione groans inwardly.

_I didn't really say that, did I? Maybe he'll chalk it up to the Dreamless Sleep._

_Do you not remember sauntering up to him half naked yesterday? _The Other voice inserts. _Is one errant comment really the biggest concern?_

Instantly all of yesterday comes flooding back: her plan, the test, the _fire _between them, his abandonment, and her anger.

"It's all your fault!" she accuses, feeling her anger return.

"My fault?" he arches an eyebrow at her inquisitively.

"Yes! If you weren't so damn stubborn, this wouldn't have happened."

She thinks she hears him mumble something about "being called stubborn too many bloody times," but she can't be sure.

"Please, Miss Granger," he starts sarcastically, "_educate_ me on how I am 'stubborn.'"

"I have plenty of examples, sir. But for times sake, I'll stick with your most recent offence," she tells him irritably.

_Was that amusement in his eye?_

"If you weren't so hell bent on hiding the truth, none of this would have happened." She leans in towards him, pointing angrily. "If you would have just admitted you saved me because you are on our side, rather than playing that game yesterday—"

He interrupts.

"You assume a lot, Miss Granger. And may I remind you that you initiated said game?" Professor Snape tilts forward in his chair until he is only a few inches from her. "Do not start _games_ you are not prepared to finish… especially when your opponent is so much more skilled than yourself."

Hermione tries to suppress a shiver that runs through her.

"I may have started out under false pretenses, but it was you who walked away, not me. You left me with so much… frustration, that I couldn't fully control my magic."

"Frustration?" he asks. "Because I wouldn't say what you wished to hear? You should be used to that; you have been dying to hear _praise_ in my classroom ever since you arrived at Hogwarts."

"I am used to _that_ frustration," she snaps. "I stopped hoping for praise a long time ago. It is the… _other_… frustration I'm not used to."

Professor Snape looks at her with confusion on his face. Then, slowly, she sees comprehension dawning on him.

_You realize if you weren't so angry right now you would probably burst into flames from the embarrassment, right?_

His black eyes seem to grow impossibly darker in a way that makes her breath come out short and jagged.

After a moment that seems to stretch an eternity they launch at one another simultaneously. He leaps out of the chair and into the bed leaning in towards her while she reaches up to pull his head down.

"Severus," she sighs.

SS

After he had administered the potions and she fell asleep, Severus had wrapped Hermione in a black silk robe he conjured and carried her to bed. When he was sure she was properly tucked in he set to cleaning up the place.

_What the hell happened in here? Did she lose control of her magic out here as well?_

He pulled out his wand and ran a quick diagnostic spell.

_The only trace of magic is just small amount on the table… that means she did the rest of this by hand._

Severus studies the room again, taking on a new appreciation of the damage.

_Nice work on the chairs, Miss Granger._

Letting out a sigh he begins flicking his wand, repairing the damage little by little. It doesn't take very long to get everything back to normal. He is contemplating putting unbreakable charms on everything when he hears the elf 'pop' back in.

"I is bringing you your robe, sir. Can I gets you anything else?" Mazy asks, handing him his emerald green dressing robe.

"Thank you, but no," he tells her as he takes the offered robe. "Mazy, you did a great job getting to me quickly tonight. I am very grateful for that."

Mazy's chest puffs up with pride even as she blushes furiously.

"It was not being any trouble, headmaster. Mazy is just doing her job. Let me knows if there is anything else you is needing."

When the elf leaves, Severus pulls the green wingback away from the fireplace and positions it next to the bed. He settles into it and watches Hermione's sleeping form. He knows she won't be awake for several hours and that he doesn't actually need to stand vigil, but he can't seem to make himself leave.

_You are getting in too deep, old man, _he thinks but immediately rebels against the idea.

_What is that supposed to mean? My caring about her well-being doesn't mean anything._

Even as the thought enters his mind he is forced to admit that he normally only ever looks after his own well-being… and even that has been on the decline. After all, Severus does not intend to live past the end of the war.

There are only three people next to himself that he has gone out of his way to protect: Draco, as a favor to Narcissa and to Dumbledore, Harry in honor of Lily's sacrifice, and Lily, because, well… it was _Lily._

But now, as he sits vigilant over Hermione Granger, he has to wonder why? Where does she fit in?

_No one asked me to save her, it is not a favor to anyone, nor do I feel about her the way I felt about Lily…_

_I couldn't let her be killed because she had been so close to Potter, she is one of the people that knew him better than anyone. _

_But… I guess if I am truly honest with myself, I can't imagine letting any harm come to her because of how much she reminds me of Lily. She has unbelievable loyalty towards her friends, a sharp wit, and an overwhelming need to prove herself. _

Severus reaches up to rub his temples.

_That is not being truly honest… _

_Yes, Hermione shares some basic traits with Lily but she is so very different. Her thirst for knowledge is rare and refreshing; yes, she wants to prove herself, but she also has a general desire to actually learn. She is smarter than all of her peers but not cocky about it, and she is willing to offer help to all who need it. Her loyalty outshines Lily's by a mile… I saw the way Weasley and Potter treated her in the past, but she always forgave them._

_Lily was never that understanding…_

He shakes his head vigorously, trying to clear it.

_Where did all that come from? If I didn't know any better I'd think I was starting to have feelings for the girl…_

"Absurd," Severus mumbles.

_The last thing you need is more unreciprocated feelings._

Severus continues arguing with himself, eventually falling asleep in the chair. He doesn't wake until he hears Hermione moan in pain.

"I am used to _that_ frustration," she snaps. "I stopped hoping for praise a long time ago. It is the… _other_… frustration I'm not used to."

He looks at her confused, not quite getting what she is trying to say.

_Other frustration? Because I left… Oh, Merlin._

_She was just as affected as I._

The lust he has been trying to keep at bay for days flares to life, full force, with this latest discovery.

_She wants me._

After a moment that seems to stretch an eternity they launch at one another simultaneously. He leaps out of the chair and into the bed leaning in towards her while she reaches up to pull his head down.

"Severus," she sighs.

The way those perfect lips caress his name releases something inside of him and he hungrily devours her mouth, noting that it is the sweetest thing he's ever tasted. Her eagerness and responses to him only fuel his passion further.

Severus reaches between them and pulls the blanket away leaving them separated by only a few pieces of clothing. He places one leg on either side of her hips, all without breaking their kiss.

Hermione unties his robe and pushes the material aside giving herself access to his chest. She runs her hands all across him never once pausing over his scars.

_Don't ever stop touching me…_

Severus follows her lead, shrugs off his robe and proceeds to undo hers. When she is exposed beneath him he breaks away from her lips to look down at her.

By now he has seen her naked on several occasions… when he made those memories for the Dark Lord, when she climbed out of the tub, and yesterday when he dropped her towel. He already knew she was beautiful; flawless legs, surprisingly shapely hips, toned flat stomach, and her perfectly sized perky breasts. But now with her watching him study her body, her chocolate eyes filled with desire, she is more than beautiful. She is a goddess.

"Are you sure?" he asks her, voice thick with need.

A moment of indecision flickers on her face before she banishes it and nods him on. He bends down and is getting ready to claim her mouth once more when she stops him by putting a hand on his chest.

"Wait, Severus. Something is wrong," she rushes.

"Are you just now noticing?" he asks, unable to keep the sarcasm from leaking into his words.

_Of course something is wrong… the Princess of Gryffindor is in my bed ready to willingly give herself over to me._

She scowls at him, sensing his thoughts.

"No, not that. I don't feel right. Something is missing." Fear lights up her eyes. "I still can't feel my magic! I — normally I can sense it, but not now. I haven't felt it since the accident. It didn't dawn on me when I woke up because of my headache. What is going on?"

"I don't know," he answers honestly.

Severus lets out a weary sigh and re-covers Hermione with her robe. Using all of his willpower he climbs off of the bed and refastens his own robe.

HG

The loss of his warmth is startling, but Hermione is too scared to pay much attention.

_Where is it?_

She buries her face in her hands and tries to concentrate but still doesn't feel anything.

_It is always there, just on the edge of my senses, waiting for me to reach out and touch it. Why isn't it there?_

"Stay calm," Severus tells her. "We will figure this out. I'll be back later to let you know what I find."

He's gone before she can offer any protest, leaving Hermione with her fear.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Which is worse: the fact that they never seem to finish what they start, or being left with a sort-of cliffie? Leave me your thoughts! Thanks for all the reviews so far, they really make my day!

P.S. If anyone is willing to beta please shoot me a PM, I am not the greatest with grammar and really want to start updating this on The Petulant Poetess


	12. Best Laid Plans

**Disclaimer: **They are not mine, and I do not make any money of of this.

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SS

Severus spends the morning in the library looking up possible causes for Hermione's suddenly missing magic. He finds a couple reasons and narrows it down to what seems most likely. He is fairly certain he has found the answer, but thinks he had best check it with Poppy.

_If I go to the Mediwitch with these questions, she is sure to know why, especially after my show the other day, revealing Hermione's location._

Looking at the time, Severus suddenly remembers his meeting with Minerva.

_Ah, perfect. She can see to Poppy._

Severus just sits down at his desk when Minerva arrives, knocking at his door.

"Please, sit," he gestures to the chair across from him as she enters.

As she settles in, Severus begins pouring tea for two. He offers Minerva a cup, plain, just the way she prefers. She eyes the cup suspiciously before remembering herself and quickly accepting.

"Sorry," she murmurs, "old habits and such."

Severus nods in understanding.

"Well," he starts, "I really don't wish to waste time with pleasantries. So much time is gone already. What have I missed with the Order? What is the next plan of action?"

"You sound like Hermione. You have not missed all that much. We have mainly been focusing on recruiting these last few months. Everywhere there were whispers of unease with the new regime, you would find an Order member spreading our propaganda."

"What do you mean 'were' and 'would'?" he asks.

"It's like I told Hermione, the Order is finished. After Harry's death everyone has lost hope. There is no next 'plan of action' because there is no Order," Minerva sighs sadly, resignation etched into every line of her features.

Severus slams his hand onto his desk, causing the older woman to jump.

"That is unacceptable! Are you seriously trying to tell me that everyone has completely given up because a mediocre teenaged wizard died at the hands of Lord-Fucking-Voldemort?" Severus doesn't even attempt to keep his voice low, having warded his office beforehand.

"Severus, word got out about the prophecy. People know Harry was the only chance we had of winning," Minerva tries to explain.

He arches an eyebrow at her, his look dripping with disbelief.

"Minerva, have you honestly let yourself believe in a 'possible' prophecy? I know your views on the _art_ of Divination." Severus sneers the word art emphatically.

"Well… I may not believe in Divination, but prophecies are a different matter."

"Would you still feel that way if I told you it was Trelawney who revealed said prophecy?" he asks.

"Sybil?" Minerva asks, distaste evident in her tone.

Severus just nods in ascent, then stands and begins pacing back and forth behind his desk.

"If everyone truly is the imbecilic morons you make them out to be, which I don't doubt, we need to give them something to fight for. Someone to rally behind once more," he tells her, a plan quickly forming.

"Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"Hermione?"

"Of course. She is the obvious choice: Potter's best friend, a muggle born, not to mention there was all of that speculation about her true relationship with Potter the year of the Triwizard Tournament. She is the perfect figurehead to renew the cause," Severus explains. "What we'll do, is spreading rumors of a new prophecy, one that paints Miss Granger as the Dark Lord's downfall—"

"Don't you think you should discuss this with Hermione first?" Minerva interrupts. "You'll be painting a giant target on her back."

"Minerva, she has had a giant target on her back since the day she befriended Potter. Even if they hadn't been friends, she is a muggle-born. How much more endangered can she become? She is already being held captive by a Death Eater… which is another reason I won't be discussing this with her."

"What do you—" Minerva stares at him in shock. "You haven't told her about your true loyalties?"

"No."

"Merlin, Severus! That poor girl must be terrified! Why haven't you told her?"

He clears his throat and glances to where Dumbledore's portrait hangs hidden behind the sound proof drapes.

"I'm on orders not to."

"You cannot mean you are still listening to that conniving old man?" she asks, sounding outraged.

"He is right. If for some reason the Dark Lord demands to see her, and he reads in her mind my betrayal… this way I can protect both of us. Besides, she already suspects the truth."

Minerva smirks.

"Yes, well Hermione has always seen the best in people."

"Indeed. I have decided the best course of action is to neither confirm nor deny her suspicions… although, I may as well have admitted the truth. She was doing wandless magic and I did nothing to 'punish' her. Which reminds me, I need you to speak to Poppy."

HG

_When will this day end?_

Hermione is pacing circles around the room, anxious for information on her missing magic. She tries to distract herself, but nothing seems to hold her attention for long. Her thoughts are a jumbled mess, and she has no idea where to begin sorting them.

Upon making a trip to the bathroom she finds _Willful Wish-Work for the Wandless_ sticking out from under the edge of a towel.

_He either didn't notice it, or he didn't care… _she ponders.

_If he didn't care, that means that he is either ok with me practicing wandless magic or he knows having the book no longer matters, because my magic isn't coming back._

_Oh, Merlin, what if my magic doesn't come back?_

_Focus!_

_If he is ok with me practicing, which he indicated by not reacting angrily, that is solid proof he is on our side! _

Hermione lets a small smirk grace her face as she leaves the bathroom and begins pacing again.

_If he is really on the same side as you, then why won't he just admit it? _the Other voice asks.

_Well… maybe because I can't do Occlumency as well as he can. He has worked so hard to keep his true colors a secret, and I would be a liability. Besides, if he weren't on my side, why wouldn't he just come out and say it?_

_Oh, I dunno… maybe because if you knew for sure, you wouldn't invite him into your bed._

Hermione sighs and throws herself onto the bed dramatically. She can't seem to sort out her feelings about what they almost did this morning. On the one hand she is mortified that she was so brazen with not only her former professor, but with a possible Death Eater. On the other hand she doesn't give a damn and wants him back in her bed so they can finish what was started and she can feel alive once more.

She is terrified by the numbness that fills her when she is left alone in these dungeons. The walls seem to close in, the time drags on agonizingly, she talks herself in circles about how to escape, each scenario less likely than the previous, and before McGonagall arrived, she had feared everyone had forgotten about her. After all, who is she really?

_Harry Potter's know-it-all friend who apparently didn't know how to save him; just a worthless, easily forgotten, muggle born._

_And now you don't even have your magic… you are just a bloody squib._

Hermione is on the brink of another anger-fueled break down when she decides that she doesn't have the energy… or the anger. She is so drained that she instead falls asleep.

SS

They have a plan, a good plan at that. Well, an acceptable plan under the circumstances.

Soon, Minerva will receive word of a prophecy from a 'friend' whose identity she will not reveal to the rest of the Order. They will trust her implicitly; Minerva McGonagall does not lie. Then the Order will begin slowly, very slowly, spreading the new prophecy, being careful that it does not fall on enemy ears, which leads to the next, rather important step: Hermione Granger must be freed in a month's time on the full moon.

This was the part of the plan that he and Minerva disagreed upon. Minerva wishes for Severus to reveal his loyalties and free Hermione. He knows this would not work, and had to repeat his reasoning several times before Minerva conceded he was right.

Severus knows that he would not be welcomed back into the fold easily, and his presence would taint Hermione's rallying power. Instead he has to make her a hero. Hermione is going to overcome him and break free on her own… she just doesn't know it yet.

Severus will have to construct a scenario in which the only end result is Hermione's escape.

_I'm sure I'll think of something,_ he muses on his way to the dungeons.

When he enters his old chambers, he is surprised to find Hermione asleep. He had been expecting her to be climbing the walls while waiting for answers about her magic.

"Mazy," he calls quietly.

_Pop!_

"Yes, sir?" the elf asks.

"It is a little early, but could you serve up dinner for two?"

"Of course! What is it you is wanting?"

"Something hearty. I'm assuming Miss Granger has not yet eaten?" he asks.

"No, sir. She has been asleep most of the day," Mazy tells him.

"In that case bring dessert as well."

Mazy nods and pops out again. Surprisingly, Hermione does not wake up at the sound.

_She cannot be comfortable, _he muses, observing her on the small, ragged mattress. _Although I guess that was the point._

Severus sighs and withdraws his wand. He decides to start on the other side of the room to avoid waking Hermione until the last possible moment.

When he first brought Hermione to his old chambers, she was unconscious. She had been screaming so much that he had to stun her on the way. It worked out for the best though, he had decided, because it gave him a chance to _prepare_ the room for her. Severus had transformed the furniture to make it look shabby, the bed especially so, in hopes that when the Dark Lord saw the conditions she was kept in, he might refrain from ordering Severus to degrade the girl further.

He starts undoing the enchantments he set on the room's furniture, returning everything back to its normal state. Lush green rugs sprout up to cover most of the cold stone floor, the dining table becomes stable and less withered, taking on an antique look rather than just old. A comfortable silver and green striped loveseat replaces the beat up wingback and a wooden coffee table sprouts up between the couch and the fireplace.

Finally there is nothing left to fix but the bed. Severus sweeps over and with a simple swish the raggedy single bed transforms back into a four-poster queen with a black canopy and curtains.

As he knew she would, Hermione shoots up at the movement from the transformation.

Her eyes widen and she looks around frantically until her gaze finds him.

"Where are we?" she asks.

"You are still in my old chambers, I just put everything back as it was before your arrival. You didn't actually think Hogwarts would let its teachers live in squalor, did you?"

"I just assumed you preferred it the other way to make yourself feel more hurt and misunderstood," she tells him, sounding bored.

"Hmph. What makes you think I feel 'hurt and misunderstood?'" he asks, unable to control his tone.

_You sound like a petulant child._

To his surprise Hermione bursts out laughing.

"Are you joking? You could practically be the poster child for emos everywhere," she laughs.

He just glares at her and waits for her to calm down. When she finally stops laughing and wipes the tears from her eyes, he speaks.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Hmm, yes." She clears her throat, a slight smile still playing about her lips. "Thank you, I needed that."

"Yes, well from what I hear the only thing you _need_ is some food. Mazy says you haven't eaten all day."

As if on cue the newly repaired dining table fills with food. Severus offers his hand to Hermione, helping her out of bed. As soon as their fingers touch, he swears the air in the room becomes thicker. He releases her as soon as she is up on her own two feet.

As they settle in to eat, Hermione start peppering him with questions.

"Did you find out anything about my magic? Is it going to come back? What do I have to do? Why did you change the furniture back?" she ruses one right after the other.

"Yes, yes, what you've been doing, and because I am sick of spending so much time in such a dreary room."

"It'll come back? What happened? And what do you mean what I've 'been doing?'" her eyes, filled with hope, bore into him begging for answers.

"Keep eating and I'll explain," he tells her.

Hermione quickly picks up her fork, takes a big bite, and looks at him expectantly.

"When you were practicing wandless magic and lost control your magic shot out quite forcefully, which is what knocked you unconscious. From what I have found out, through the library and Madame Pomfrey, you are currently at an extreme level of magical exhaustion." She gives him a confused look, so he continues: "Your magic is drained, Miss Granger. To rebuild it, you need rest, good food, and this."

He reaches in his robes and withdraws a small phial filled with a luminescent purple potion.

"This should help you recover faster, though I must say it is of the upmost importance you not practice wandless magic until your magic is fully restored."

Hermione takes the potion from him, uncorks it, and swallows it immediately.

_She still doesn't know the truth and yet she drinks an unknown potion you give her, while Minerva was still skittish over the tea you offered her._

"Thank you, sir," she says. "I know you have already done a lot for me today, but… I was wondering if I might— if I could ask one more favor?"

She bites down on her bottom lip, looking nervous.

"You may ask, although that does not guarantee I shall say yes," he tells her.

"I was wondering… ifIcouldseeHarry?" she rushes, unintelligibly.

"Pardon?"

"I was hoping you might take me to Harry's… _display…_ so I could say my goodbyes. I am drained of magic, and you are obviously stronger than me, so I can't escape. If you wish, I'll even take a vow promising not to try anything. Please, sir, he was my best friend."

Severus has a denial on his lips but as he looks into her pleading, chocolate eyes, he finds himself answering,

"Of course."

**Author's Note:** I know the last chapter was bit slow, but things are about to get moving very quickly and required a bit of a set up. I really hope you are enjoying where this fic is headed and I would love to hear your feedback, so PLEASE review! If you have any questions please don't hesitate to PM me.

Also a special thanks to LadyDunla for the beta! She has went through the previous chapters as well, so I will be going back through to update my horrible grammar. She really is amazing and has went over 6 chapters in the last week.


	13. Seeking Comfort

**Disclaimer: **Not mine.

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HG

_Waiting for the sun to set while stuck underground has got to be one of the most agonizingly slow pastimes ever_, Hermione decides as she paces back and forth by the fire.

"Could you please stop trying to wear a hole in my rug with your incessant movement?" Severus asks annoyed, glancing over the top of his book to give her a sneering look.

"Sorry, I'm just anxious."

After he agreed to take her to see Harry, Severus told her they would have to wait until dark. He didn't want her drawing a lot of attention.

Hermione stops pacing, sighs loudly, and crosses her arms over her chest before starting to tap her foot.

"Merlin, witch! You are going to drive me insane!"

He closes the book dramatically and places it on the coffee table in front of him, then leans back into the love seat eyeing her thoughtfully.

"If you truly require a way to release your stresses, I'm sure we could find a way. I would be more than happy to… assist you," Severus purrs, patting the seat next to him.

Hermione shoots him a sarcastic look, a witty retort ready on her lips. She is positive he is messing with her, but is shocked to see the fire in his eyes.

_This could be it. We could do this,_ she thinks.

She rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet, unsure if she can walk into this so freely.

_You reacted 'freely' all the previous times,_the Other voice reminds her.

_That was different. Those times were all in the heat of the moment. Can I really, consciously, decide to fool around with a possible Death Eater without even the excuse of uncontrollable lust?_

Hermione searches his onyx eyes for an answer; she doesn't find one. She bites her lower lip and slowly approaches the couch to sit beside him.

Severus reaches out and gently takes her chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning her head to face him. Hermione releases a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and parts her lips.

That is, apparently, his cue, because Severus immediately leans in to kiss her. This time it feels different, she notes. In the past every time they kiss her lips feel seared from the heat, but this time it ignites a slow burn starting in her stomach and gradually making its way throughout the rest of her body.

She revels in this new feeling and snakes her hands up into his silky hair. Severus starts trailing kisses across her jaw and down her throat, nuzzling into the hollow of her neck.

Hermione lets out a sharp gasp, his kisses are leaving a path of fire behind them.

"Is this wrong?" she pants, just as his hand comes up to cup her breast through the silky robe.

"Hmmm?" he asks, distracted by his ministrations and the fact that she is arching her chest harder against his open palm.

"Is it wrong to need this, to want to _feel_ again so badly, that I don't care if I can trust you? What does that make me? What does that make _us_?" she begs.

Severus reluctantly pulls his lips from her delicate shoulder, and looks her in the eyes, his expression tinged with sadness.

"Broken," he tells her. "It makes us two broken human beings searching for any form of comfort in a harsh and unforgiving world."

Hermione's eyes tighten at his explanation, but she nods, recognizing the truth of his words. She carefully wraps her arms around his neck and rests her head against his shoulder.

Severus puts one arm around her back and uses the other to scoop up her legs. He carries her across the room effortlessly and gently places her on the four-poster bed.

"Take that off," he tells her, nodding at her robe.

Hermione quickly complies. She scoots into the middle of the bed and pulls her knees up to her chest, feeling oddly self-conscious. She watches as Severus removes his clothing; first his robe, then his jacket, his fingers flying over the buttons expertly, it doesn't take long until he is standing before her completely naked.

She can't believe the perfection that has been hiding under his robes all these years.

His alabaster skin practically glows in the dimly lit room. Hermione studies him hungrily, her eyes tracing over his subtly sculpted chest. His body is long and lean, a collection of perfect angles.

Hermione holds her hand out to him, beckoning him forward. Severus approaches slowly, apprehension in every step. She can tell he is surprised about how quickly things are progressing.

_He's just as nervous as I am._

Severus takes her hand and crawls on the bed beside her. They both lie down on their sides, and just stare at one another. Hermione shivers pleasantly as he reaches out to trace his long fingers down her arm, and back up to her collarbone.

"You are beautiful," he whispers.

"So are you," she says, truly meaning it.

Severus cups the back of her head and kisses her gently, rolling her onto her back, so he is lying halfway on top of her. Hermione lets out a soft moan, relishing in the skin-to-skin contact. She wraps her arms around him, and runs her hands down his back.

She breaks their kiss and lets out a startled gasp as she feels dozens of raised scars on his back.

"Oh, Severus! Are you all right?" she asks.

"Yes. They do not hurt. I apologize for not warning you. I am sure you want to stop now, correct?" he asks, and begins to pull away.

Hermione tightens her grip on him.

"Why would I want to stop?" she asks, confused.

"My scars are… rather unsightly."

"Severus," she says softly, "we all have our scars. Perhaps it would be you who would rather stop if you knew of mine."

"What scars do you bear?" he asks.

Hermione looks away, embarrassed and unable to meet his eyes.

_You can tell him. He already suspects you slept with Harry, so it won't be much of a shock._

"I'm not a virgin, and I hate myself for doing what I did."

Severus' face grows cloudy, and she wonders if he is disappointed that she is not a virgin.

"How many times have you—?" he starts to asks, but lets the question die off.

"Just once," she whispers, "but I regret it. I wasn't ready, and he… wasn't worth it."

SS

Severus stares down at the beautiful young witch in his arms, and feels his stomach drop at her confession.

_She has only had sex once… but the spell said she has been raped._

"Hermione, I know this probably isn't the best time for this discussion, but I can't let you make it sound like it was your fault," he tells her.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you were raped, Hermione. I had to perform a diagnostic spell on your sexual activity, and it showed you were… forced.

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head.

"No. No, I wasn't raped. I may not have particularly _enjoyed _it, but I—it was— I let him."

"The spell doesn't lie. I don't want to push you on this, but can you tell me what happened?" Severus asks.

He reaches down and brushes a few loose curls from her face, waiting patiently for her to begin her story.

_Perfect timing as always, _he admonishes himself. _She is naked in your arms, and you thought _this_ was the topic you should bring up?_

Severus tries to ignore himself. There is no way he could continue, knowing that Hermione seems to blame herself for what happened.

"It was during the Yule Ball," she starts, quietly, "in my fourth year. I don't know if you remember, but I went with Victor Krum."

Severus nods, keeping his face clear of emotion.

"Yes, I remember. It was quite the scandal. Potter's best friend going out with his opponent."

"Yes, well, we snuck out of the dance. V—Victor wanted to go for a stroll by the lake. We ended up on the furthest side away from the castle. He summoned a blanket for us to lay on," Hermione pauses, taking a deep breath. "It was too dark for anyone t—to see us over there."

Severus feels his jaw clench and throat dry out.

_You were patrolling that night. You could have found them if you hadn't been caught up with that bastard Karkaroff. _

"We started kissing. I was enjoying myself; I had never done anything so exciting before. Most of the time when I found myself breaking rules it was to do something dangerous, I was happy because this w—wasn't supposed to be dangerous." Her voice drops lower, and Severus strains to hear the rest of her story. "He started touching me, and it wasn't b-bad at first, but he started getting carried away. He pushed my skirt up to my waist, and started tugging on my knickers…"

Severus feels anger, and surprisingly, devastating sadness wash through him. In his mind an image appears that he didn't realize he even remembered. It is Hermione sweeping into the Great Hall on the arm of Victor Krum. She looks so young, and innocent in her pretty, periwinkle blue, dress robes.

_You should have protected her._

"I told him to slow down, that I wasn't sure I was ready, but he just pulled my knickers off anyway. He told me that I was beautiful, and that he could have picked any girl, but he chose me. Then he u—unzipped his pants, and c—climbed on top of me. I said wait once more but he didn't hear me. I didn't fight him, or say no, I just cried while he did… _it._" She turns her face away, refusing to look at him. "He may have gotten carried away, but I let him. He didn't rape me… it was my fault."

"Hermione," Severus whispers, reaching up to turn her face back towards his. "It was _not_ your fault. You said wait, and he didn't listen. You can't blame yourself. You didn't fight, but that was probably best. You don't know how he would have reacted if you had. Please, don't blame yourself."

She stares up into his eyes and Severus can sense her wish to believe him.

"Thank you, I appreciate your concern, and you may be right, but I think I'll need some time to come to terms with that."

"Who else have you told?" he asks.

"No one. I was… am… too embarrassed."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Severus assures her. "He should pay for what he did."

"I really don't want to think about that right now," Hermione tells him, reaching up to stroke his face.

She reaches around the back of his head to pull his face down.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "I'll understand if you want to stop. _I'll_ hear you."

"I know you would, and that's why I don't want to stop. Please, Severus, I _want_ this. I _want _you."

Needing no further encouragement, Severus quickly leans in to claim her lips. He finds his passion equally matched, and possibly even surpassed.

_She said she wants me._

Severus pulls away from Hermione, despite a groan of protest on her part. He begins trailing kisses down her neck, over her breasts, and across her stomach. When he finally finds himself between her legs, Hermione is no longer protesting the loss of his lips, but instead bucking her hips towards him begging for more.

"There!" she cries, as he finds that most sensitive of places.

A devious smile spreads across Severus' face as he nips and teases her.

"Please," she begs. "So… close!"

Hermione has her hands fisted into the bed's comforter, and her legs are quaking on either side of Severus' head. Just as he dips his head back down to bring her to completion, she jerks away.

"Wait," she pants, "let's finish together."

_Could she be any more perfect?_

Severus sits back on his knees, and positions himself between her legs.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes, I am."

She is staring up at him, eyes glazed with lust and longing, lips plumped from his kisses, and her chest slightly heaving.

_So beautiful._

"I know you aren't a virgin, but this still might be a little uncomfortable," he explains.

Hermione lets out a low growl and sits up. She wraps both her arms around him and pulls him back down to the bed, on top of her.

HG

She isn't sure where her boldness is coming from, but she knows they cannot stop this time.

_If he stops, I think I will die of longing._

Severus continues to shower her with kisses as he positions himself. She is somewhat distracted by his lips and hands, but she feels it as he presses against her.

_So much heat!_

She feels a sharp stab of pain as he enters, just as he warned, and lets out a gasp.

"Are you alright?" he asks, pausing his movements.

"Yes, don't stop."

This time when Severus moves above her there is only pleasure. Hermione finds herself arching up to meet him with each thrust.

Severus reaches his hand down between them, easily finding what he is looking for. The added pleasure of his fingers teasing her sends Hermione over the edge. She feels Severus finish with her and they both pant with exhaustion as they come down from their high.

"That… was… perfect," she says between breaths.

"Mmm," is all Severus manages in response.

They lay silently, still wrapped around one another, for quite some time. Neither of them wants to be the first to move.

Hermione has her fingers in Severus' hair, gently playing with the strands, when he finally speaks.

"It is probably late enough, if you still want to go pay your respects," he murmurs sleepily into the hollow of her neck.

"Really? I didn't realize how much time has passed."

Severus reluctantly pulls himself up and away from Hermione, and she is struck cold by the sudden loss of his body. He begins to dress quickly, and then as if realizing she has no appropriate clothing, he conjures a set of robes for her.

"Thank you," she says, hurrying to get dressed.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asks.

"Yes," she answers, amazed at how firm her voice comes out.

"Then follow me."

Severus removes the wards from the door, and opens it. He signals Hermione to exit first, and she takes a deep breath before doing as he instructs.

_I'm coming, Harry. I'm just sorry it's too late._

* * *

**Author's note: **Thanks to LadyDunla for the beta! I hope you guys liked this chapter despite the semi lack of plot progression. Please let me know what you think, I don't usually write these type of scenes. Also, I will updating about once a week now. My school semester is starting to get hectic!_  
_


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